The Toas (inspired by Zev and sitcoms)

From the people...er....person....who brought you 'The Krika Show' and 'Lesovikk's Journal' comes another slightly annoying attention grabbing comedy that serves the lulz!

*a house on Bara Magna*

Tahu: Um....what? Gali, why the bloody hell is there a camera here?!

Gali: Because we're on a sitcom/reality show.

*laughter track*

*Lewa enters*

*applause track*

Lewa: Hey-o everyone! I've arrived quick-fast!

Tahu: That treespeak is annoying, shut up Lewa.

Lewa: *eyes widen* Excuse me?

Tahu: I said....your treespeak reminds me of Rolling Stones magazine!!!

Lewa: You dare insult my treespeak by comparing it to Rolling Stones magazine!

*they start to yell and argue*

*Kopaka walks in with Pohatu and Onua*

*applause track*

Pohatu: Brothers! Quit fighting! Onua, Kopaka and I shall go to the store to get more weapons....I mean tools.

*laughter track*

Kopaka: I don't think they're broadcasting this in BZPower, so there's no censorship.

*laughter track*

Onua: Rated PG-13 now? Hell yeah!!

*laughter track*

Kopaka: Whatever. You guys want anything?

Tahu: Guns.

Lewa: More sword and axe polish. We ran out.

Gali: I'm fine, thank you.

*the trio leaves, and just as Gali is about to get up from her couch, someone walks in*

*Boo track*

William Furno 1.0: Hey-ho hi-di hey!

Tahu: Great, first he takes our jobs, now our oxygen!

*laughter track*

Furno: Tahu! Don't be mean, I'm your equal!

Lewa: You seem to have a very twisted definition of equality.

*laughter track*

Gali: Don't listen to them, Furno. What brings you here?

Furno: I need a place to stay.

Tahu: Go to hell.

*laughter track*

Furno: Now that's going too far.

Tahu: No no no. HEL. Hand of Lesovikk.

Furno: Why is there an E?

Tahu: Ehrye wanted to appear somewhere, so he put an E in the final name. It's a place for any displaced Bionicle characters who don't have homes. Bohrok extras, Rahkshi extras, some of the Makuta, some Toa, etc.

*laughter track*

Gali: I didn't know Lesovikk was into that.

Lewa: He's probably trying to do a good work, as any Toa-hero should.

Tahu: Yeah, but he can break the code, you know.

*a few laughs in the audience*

Furno: That sounds like a place where I would get killed!

Tahu: You get my point then!

*laughter track*

Gali: *glares at Tahu* You can stay here for as long as you need to, Furno.

Furno: What room do I stay in?

*silence*

Tahu: Whoever even thinks about allowing him to share a room with me WILL be seriously injured by a random fireball.

*laughter track*

Gali: We have a seventh room, saved for, well, you know.

Lewa: Where is Takanuva, anyways?

Tahu: Last I heard, he signed a book deal, and is touring the world.

Furno: Huh. What about the other Toa, Glatorian, Matoran, and the like?

Lewa: Fighting evil, living in houses, starting shows, goingtoappearinfuturebutnowitwon'tbeasurprisethankstostupidwannabeherotoys.

*laughter track*

Tahu: Okay, one more laughter track, and I'm going to destroy it.

Gali: Why does Klak always make characters with excessive anger issues?

Klak: I don't.

ALL: HOW DID YOU APPEAR?!!!

Klak: I'm Klak. I write comedies. 'Nuff said.

*laughter tra-*

*a huge whirlwind of fire destroys the track*

Tahu: Klak, aren't you supposed to be working on the next episo-

Gali: He's gone.

Tahu: Figures.

*laughter track*

Lewa: How the heck?

Furno: Yeah, comedies are weird. Anyways, I'm going to get my stuff! *runs out the door*

Tahu: What could he possibly bring? We don't wear clothes, just armor.

*Furno walks in carrying a large suitcase, and hums his way up the stairs*

*laughter track*

*music begins playing*

Gali: We're almost done? But this episode wasn't funny!!

Lewa: Yep, this is a Klak comedy alright. It even includes characters questioning the humor of the episode.

*The END*

I like Tahu.

Also, do you take GS requests?

HAHAHA

Very funny indeed, Furno does have a strange sense of equality

Yes, do you take GSs?

I do. Through PM.

Episode 2 (thanks to DRJ for guest-starring. He basically makes this ten times funnier than it already is).

*a house on Bara Magna*


Tahu: Oh yeah, first!

*laughter track*

Lewa: Second!

Kopaka: Third.

Pohatu: Fourth!

Onua: Fifth!

Gali: Sixth!

Furno: 3.0th!

*laughter track*

Kopaka: What?

Furno: It's the newest version of me they made. Aren't we mentioning our versions?

Tahu: No, you idiot, we're....UGH! NEVER MIND!

*laughter track*

Gali: Tahu! He's only a child!

Pohatu: He's a robot. He has no age.

Furno: No, I don't. So, what's up gang?

Lewa: Great! First he insults our intelligence, then he calls us a band of criminals!

*laughter track*

Pohatu: I'm thinking of starting a band.

Kopaka: I invited someone here.

*Everyone stares*

*laughter track*

Kopaka: What? I can't have a social life?!

*ding dong*

Gali: I'll get it!

Pohatu: That's what she said! *all the Toa high five each other, save for Gali*

*laughter track*

*Furno is playing with a random mirror, when suddenly, Blackout bursts through the door, and sends Gali smashing into the wall*

*laughter track*

Blackout: HAI ALL!

Tahu: Hey, Blackout, how've you been?

Blackout: Pretty good, considering I live in Brussels, which is inhabited primarily by idiots.

Furno: Are you the famous Blackout, who is like, a star of that RPG BZPower Battles?

Kopaka: RPG that evolved from a simple game. It has a deep and rich storyline, like something you ruined, Furno. Remember that?

*laughter track*

Blackout: *takes out a cricket bat and repeatedly hits Furno over the head with it*

*Furno explodes*

*Tahu and the other Toa, save for Gali, begin screaming with joy*

Tahu: YES!!

*laughter track*

Lewa: Is it just me, or has most of this comedy's humor been directed at haters of The Lego replacement of Bionicle that shall not be said on BZPB?

Blackout: You say that like there's something wrong with that.

Tahu: Exactly. Anyways, with Furno gone, we can focus on the true enemy here.....THE LAUGHTER TRACK!!

*OOooooh Track*

Pohatu: Told you a sitcom was a bad idea. This was as bad as the time Lewa thought we were his dreams.

*flashback sequence begins*

*Lewa spins a Beyblade top*

Lewa: If it keeps spinning, you know you are dreaming!!

Gali: Lewa what are you-

Lewa: SHUT UP! YOU DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP WITH THE KICK!

Tahu: Anyone want to go to the movies?

Lewa: It's a trap. The film will plant an idea in our minds. I know its possible because I performed it on my....*dramatic face*.....ex-wife!

*laughter track*

*flashback sequence ends*

Lewa: Excuse me?

Pohatu: You want to go?

Lewa: Let's go!

Pohatu: That's right!

*rather than fighting, they simply walk out, causing stifled laughter in the audience*

Blackout: That is the most confusing exchange I have ever heard.

Onua: Indeed.

Blackout: Uh, Gala?

Gali: My name is Gali, and I'm not getting you anything.

Kopaka: You heard the man. And get me fruit juice.....

Gali: Why would you-

Kopaka: I'M MAKING A SMOOTHIE! WHY DOES EVERYONE QUESTION MY ACTIONS?!

Onua: At least you are characterized as the smart one!

Gali: OH, I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO IS THE SMART ONE HERE!!

Tahu: I LOVE TO SHOUT TOO!

*silence*

*laughter track*

Blackout: -and that's why the Communist Party of Argentina is scared of Tom Cruise. *everyone stares at him*

(That last bit is Blackout telling a story, most of which was drowned out by the silence (yeah) and laughter track, if you didn't already get that.)

Tahu: You know, the audience could have-

*Klak pops in*

Klak: Oh, it's okay, I'm keeping the parenthesis.

Tahu: Right, right, uh. What's....what is my next line?

Klak: We kind of lost the script, so do some improv.....I guess?

Blackout: Or, we could just find Shroom and tell him you said something about meat-grinding someone because they know too much. This sitcom's ratings would go through the roof! (Yeah, fourth wall breakage. Shut up. )

*Klak runs away*

*laughter track*

Gali: So what is the point of your visit, Blackout?

Blackout: I'm travelling the world trying to find inspiration for a new comedy.

Kopaka: You never told me that!

Blackout: I never told you about that time I crushed Tommy Lee Jones' arm, either.

*Lewa and Pohatu walk back in, talking*

Lewa: Strange that Tom Cruise would do that...Hey everyone!

Blackout: *looks at Lewa, then Pohatu* Uh.....

Gali: Of course.

Tahu: Mexican standoff, then?

Onua: Yay!

*Everyone does a Mexican Standoff*

*laughter track*

Lewa: Funny, because if I shoot Gali, and Tahu shoots me, and Pohatu shoots Tahu, and Onua shoots Pohatu, and Blackout shoots Onua and Gali the same time, Gali dies twice.

*Pohatu puts down his weapons*

Pohatu: How does that make any sense?

Blackout: Well, it doesn't to us, but if you subtract four, repeatedly bang your head against a wall and ingest large quantities of LSD, it becomes obvious!

Onua: Right, but, you see, you forgot to carry the one where you *begins to mention complicated calculations*

*laughter track*

*everyone drops their weapons*

Tahu: Why do I always miss the darn explanations?!

Kopaka: It's that wretched laughter track.

Blackout: Kill it with fire or fishtanking.

Tahu: All in favor of destroying it with him, say 'aye'.

*All say aye, even Gali*

Tahu: I thought you were supposed to be the pacifist female stereotype?

Gali: If we go on about stereotypes, then we'll have to make that joke about the Poli-

*laughter track*

Pohatu: Well, Blackout, you have two things to maim now. The laughter track, and Gali.

Blackout: Even evil has standards. I will maim the laughter track, but the rest you will have to do yourself.

Tahu: ATTACK!

*after a long violence sequence and some Seinfeld music*

Tahu: Well, that was fun.

Gali: *wrapped in a cast* Mmf.

Tahu: Well, I did tell you not to pick water as your power. But did you listen? No, you didn't.

Blackout: I told her not to renew her contract in 2008, she didn't listen then either and, well, we all know how that ended up.

Onua: Right.....anyone else thinks this has no plot?

Lewa: Excuse me?

Kopaka: Is this some kind of personal offense?

Pohatu: What is a plot, anyways?

Tahu: Onua, you say the kohli-headedest things.

Gali: Mmf.

Blackout: I didn't know you could use that kind of language on TV, Gali!

*Furno 2.0 walks in*

Tahu: Just when I thought I could retire in peace.

Furno 2.0: I'm baaack!

Lewa: Did the strange grammar cause you to come here?

Furno 2.0: Yes!

Blackout: Good, because now I get to do this. *takes out a tennis racket and throws it with surprising accuracy at Furno 2.0's head, and he collapses*

*the credits appear, as the audience laughs*

*after a while, Klak walks out in the classic final montage of a sitcom*

Klak: No one was actually hurt during this episode....save for the laughter track. And if we are offending any Communists, Argentinos, Communists from Argentina, or Belgian rug makers, please do not take us seriously. Good night everybody! *jazz music*

That is is very funny.

Shroom must never learn of this comedy.

Genuinely the funniest thing On this site, and the only reason I'm still here.

Good job, Klak.

Onua: Like I said, we need to have a theme song with the Matoran in a Black Suit. I miss the guy.

Lewa: Isn't he dead?

Onua: Comic book deaths are EXTREMELY exaggerated in BZPower Battles. Klak was thought to have died twice, but he didn't. Blackout once or twice, Ynot once or twice, Kakamu pretty much died once, Zev disappears, Shroom has chrome abs, et cetera.

Pohatu: I wish that would work for us.

Gali: Tuyet performed it, and so did Teridax.

Tahu: Those cusses. Where is Tuyet anyways?

Gali: Fac-er-BionicleBook shows that she's having a time share with Helryx.

*Everyone laughs, and an audience laughter is heard*

Tahu: I thought we destroyed that laughter track!!

Lewa: Live studio audience, meet Tahu. Tahu, meet live studio audience.

*a group of Matoran, Rahkshi, Bohrok, Vortixx, MoCs, Rahi, etc. wave their hands*

Tahu: DAMN IT!

Gali: You know, you should try anger management, Tahu. It could help you in our new relationship with Furno.

Pohatu: In other words, she wants you to go to Karzhani and back to satisfy the guy who caused you unemployment.

*audience laughter*

Kopaka: That's as bad idea as when I decided to vacation in that weird island.

*flashback*

Kopaka: So, is this place nice and alone?

Guide: Alone? This place is filled with lifeless dolls hanging around. You are alone. DEAD alone.

*a doll turns and looks at Kopaka*

Kopaka: What? I'm not feeding you. Let's get out of here. This place is too crowded.

*Flashback ends*

(Kudos to anyone who can get the reference)

*Audience laughter*

Onua: I beg to differ. I think you need some time to release your stress. You are a fire-spitter, after all.

Lewa: Hehe, true.

Gali: I think it’s unanimous.

Tahu: Fine. One session. Then I'm out. Speaking of stuff I hate, where's Furno?

*Onua cracks up*

Gali: I don't. want. to know.

*audience laughter*

*Tahu arrives at the anger management center*

*Tahu is sitting in a chair circle with Roodaka, Vakama, all six Piraka, Malum, and Pridak*

Tahu: Aw crap. 6 of you I've tried to kill, 2 of you are notorious criminals, one's a demented psychopath with amnesia, and the other's Pridak!

Pridak: HAH! *points at Zaktann* I got first name basis!

*at the center of the circle sits Gelu*

Gelu: All right everyone settle down.

Tahu: WHAT?! THEY GAVE YOU THE JOB?

Gelu: You'd be surprised what I can do. Anyways, now, let's hear some stories. How are you handling your issues, Vakama?

Vakama: Well, I got so angry I betrayed my friends again, but at least I predicted the future!

Roodaka: Why did I ever think of you as a worthy ally?

Gelu: Shut up. Say your vision ins-I mean, Vakama.

Vakama: Well, I saw that one of us is going to be hit by a sack of hammers today.

*Audience laughter*

Gelu: Erm...all right...next!

Roodaka: Well, I didn't get angry with anyone today. In fact, I've been pretty mellow.

Vezok: I call B.S

*audience laughter*

Reidak: Yeah, seriously.

Roodaka: I'm serious.

Hektann: Lolno.

Roodaka: I'm serious! *She seems pestered*

Thok: Hmph.

Pridak: My turn! Well, I did get angry at 42 slaves today. I saw them being tortured by a giant crab. It was fun. I invited Kalmah for the spectacle, but he said he was doing something with Doctor Who, whatever that is.

*Roodaka and the Piraka start laughing, while Tahu, Gelu, Malum, and Vakama stare with seriousness*

Tahu: Sounds like a short, realistic medical series about a man with an identity crisis.

*audience laughter*

Hektann: Lolno.

Gelu: Pridak, if I were allowed, I would have killed you on the spot. However, since I'm pretending to me a freaking psychologist, I'm going to be brief and say that you need YEARS of this management thing, because you are one screwed up individual.

*audience laughter*

Pridak: All right.

Gelu: Now, Skrall 261 isn't here, neither is Tuma, so we'll just go to you, Malum.

Malum: I've been chill. Vorox are the best people to hang out with.

Gelu: Okay. Zaktann?

Zaktann: Well, Gelu, how are you feeling? You seem pretty angry today, don't you?
*evil laughter*

Gelu: Shut up. Skipping you.

Hektann: Umad?

*audience laughter*

Gelu: Skipping. Reidak? Thok? Vezok? Avak?

Avak: We got into a fight. With Krika. He was sad about his show, and I was already angry with the other three, so...you know.

Tahu: Weren't you guys on that show once?

Vezok: Don't remember.

Thok: Hmph.

*audience laughter*

Gelu: Okay, next?

*Hydraxxon walks in*

Pridak: Oh no, you must be confused with the "Dealing with my Delusions of Grandeur", which is next door.

*Audience laughter*

*Everyone laughs, except for Hydraxxon (who walks away) and Vakama*

Tahu: All right, I'll go. I'm angry at Furno who moved in with my team, and Gali thought this would help.

Gelu: YOU WHAT?! She's insane. I authorize you to be angry. I hate The Lego replacement of Bionicle that shall not be said on BZPB.

*Audience laughter*

*Everyone agrees, except for Pridak*

Pridak: I like them. They could make a powerful enough army.

*Roodaka and Zaktann nod*

Gelu: Okay, everyone needs to be on his or her medication promptly, except for Tahu.

Reidak: You need medication too.

Gelu: THAT’S IT!! *Grabs nearby sack of hammers and smacks Reidak with it*

*Audience is going into an unhealthy laughter fit*

*The villains scream with joy, and jump into the brawl*
Tahu: O.O

Vakama: MY PREDICTION WAS RIGHT!

Malum: I must leave.

*Walks away*

*Doctors take away some of the fainted audience members*

*Back at the Toa house*

Pohatu: Quick! Gali, Onua, funny green guy! We need to look like we’re doing something for when the cam-oh hello, audience.

Lewa: Excuse me?

*Tahu walks in*

Tahu: Well, that was a very funny and insane session.

Gali: Really? Well, I guess I shouldn’t trust Internet ads anymore.

*Audience laughter*

Onua: Now, what do we do now?

Lewa: Dance to the Nope you\'re not getting away with that TMV rap, or rescue Furno from that trap. Seriously, it’s been hours.

Gali: Where is he anyways?

*Furno 2.0 is seen amongst rubble with a pixie stick in his hand, and a bag of cement in the other*

*He wakes up, and sees Dick Cheney inside of a truck*

Cheney: You’ve ruined my evil plans! AGH! *Drives away*


THE END.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This one is even better than the first two! Well done indeed. The antics at the anger management center were hilarious, as was Lewa's suggestion at the end. Well done sir!

*The Matoran in the Black Suit walks up to a piece of metal embedded into a wheel*

MiBS: Looks like fod.

*the 6 Toa jump in, kick the Matoran away, and begin dancing to the Chocobo theme*

*Furno does a dance that is illegal to mention in the United Kingdom*

*they all stop, and go home*

Tahu: That was terrible.

*laughter*

Gali: Do you have a better idea?

Tahu: Nope.

*laughter*

Lewa: Guys, where did Furno go?

Gali: Did you people prank him again?!

Pohatu: No. This time I swear it wasn't us.

*laughter*

Tahu: Then he was kidnapped.

Onua: Interesting conclusion you jumped to there, Tahu.

Kopaka: Onua, this is a sitcom.

*laughter*

Tahu: All right, so. *pulls out a list* The Canadians, Americans from Wyoming, Mormons, or Belgian rug makers have no reason to kidnap Furno, so we'll eliminate them off of the list.

*laughter*

Gali: Then who was it?

Lewa: One of our enemies?

Kopaka: Don't be silly, Lewa. They know that kidnapping Furno won't really screw with us. Plus, they're much more upfront.

Tahu: It had to have been close, because otherwise it would not have been so fast.

Lewa: Makes perfect sense. Let's go door to door to find him!

*All 6 Toa burst through the wall, and land in another living room*

Klak: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Tahu: Where's Furno?

Klak: How the heck am I supposed to know? Well, I know, but because of author powers.

*laughter*

Tahu: So you didn't kidnap him?

Klak: That's illegal. Now get out of here before I charge you for the wall.

*laughter*

*the Toas leave, and burst in through the door in the next house*

Gali: All right! Where's Furno 3.0?!

*Blackout turns around in a swivel chair, and smiles*

DRJ/Blackout: Well, if it isn't the 6 Toa Nuva! What brings you here to my humble abode? Looking for something to use against The Country That Shouldn\'t Exist?

*laughter*

Gali: We know you kidnapped Furno!

DRJ/Blackout: WHAT?! Someone got to him first!

*laughter*

Lewa: Excuse me?

DRJ/Blackout: Don't worry about it. *turns around throws darts at a picture of Jaroslaw Kaczynski, then one of Laughing Man*

*laughter*

Tahu: Sorry to bother you, Blackout.

DRJ/Blackout: It's okay! I'm actually flattered.

*laughter*

*they leave, and walk into the next house*

Onua: Alright, give him up!

*it's a dark room*

Lewa: Great. No power.

Onua: I can see in here, but you guys can't. *turns on lights*

*a Heavy (from Team Fortress 2) dressed in a Medic's clothes (from Team Fortress 2) is hanging upside down from the ceiling, and hisses*

Kopaka: A vampire?

Tahu: No, it's just KoN.

*laughter*

KoN: Hey guys! What's up?

Gali: Furno 3.0 got kidnapped and we are looking for him.

KoN: Oh, I wish I could help you there, but I'm hanging out with G-K later.

Tahu: Right. Sorry to bother you, buddy.

KoN: No problem! By the way, close the door. I don't want the sunlight to come in.

*the Toa walk out, and are in the streets*

Gali: This is getting nowhere, Tahu.

Tahu: We just have to keep looking. *gets hit in the shoulder by a guy carrying a briefcase* Hey!

Ynot: What? I’m going to work.

Onua: Your customers aren't exactly-

Ynot: My other job.

*a man with dreadlocks is seen lifting weights with a car*

*suddenly, masked men jump out of nowhere, and begin shooting at both Ynot and the Dreadlocks guy*

*the Dreadlocks guy blocks the bullets with his chrome abs*

Shroom: Get them!~

*Zev comes in riding a motorcycle with Haruko, and begins shooting at the masked men*

*Shroom uses quad-RPGS against the mooks*

*Ynot runs up at them, and smacks his briefcase against their face while singing the Halloween theme song*

*laughter*

Pohatu: I doubt they need help. Let's keep looking.

*the 6 Toa go into yet another house, and see Morgan Freeman pointing a gun at them*

Lewa: MORGAN FREEMAN?! BUT WE CAN'T KILL YOU!

Morgan Freeman: But I'm not Morgan Freeman! *takes off mask, revealing himself to be Captain Picard*

Tahu: Kirk is better.

Picard: Screw you. *takes off mask, revealing himself to be George Bush*

Onua: What the-?

*George Bush takes off his mask, revealing him to be Wilford Brimley*

Wilford Brimley: Wrong mask. Diabeetus.

*Wilford Brimley takes off his mask, revealing him to be Morgan Freeman*

Lewa: Wait, what? Couldn't you have just said you were Morgan Freeman?

*laughter*

Morgan Freeman: It's not fun, you wretched Toa! Now, as my minions engage your allies outside, you are helpless to watch us take over the world!

Tahu: Us?

*Alex Le, Dovydas, and Tyler Durden walk out of the shadows*

Lewa: Well, if it isn't the enemies of BZPB.

Morgan Freeman: Wait. You're the enemies of BZPB? Wrong set.

*Morgan Freeman walks into a portal*

*laughter*

Tahu: We have no beef with you.

Scythe Guy: HAHAHHA! You are an idiot because I don't like you! *swings scythe*

*Kopaka freezes them*

Kopaka: They act silly, to be honest. The ice will melt, and they'll be back to their old selves again.

Gali: Whatever, let's keep looking.

*Klak walks up to them*

Klak: All right, enough inside references. I need to point you people on the right track. Furno was kidnapped by the cult of Tren Krom.

Lewa: Oh, great. JUST GREAT!

*laughter*

Pohatu: I know two places with that banner.

*a few minutes later, they burst into a room with several mafiosos sitting around a table*

*Klak laughs*

Tahu: House of Tren Krom?

Mafioso: You're off, you bozo. This is the House of Tremendous Con.

*a heavy built Genghis Khan walks out*

*laughter*

Tahu: Two jokes in a row, I applaud.

*They leave, and arrive in Tren Krom's house*

*the 6 Toa walk in backwards, avoiding his evil gaze*

Tren Krom: Finally! You people took half an hour to freaking get here!

*laughter*

Gali: Let Furno go, Tren!

Tren Krom: Nonsense! I will use him to connect to the Hero Maker thingy! Then, I will make the perfect army to take the Earth for myself!

Tahu: Oh, because an army of robots is totally going to withstand the thousands of Toa, superheroes, supervillains, and governments that will oppose you.

*laughter*

Tren Krom: Silence fool! *reaches out with his tentacles*

Pohatu: I've seen enough-

*laughter*

Lewa: Shut up! You're not doing this again, you overaged ball of slime.

*cuts his tentacles while not looking at him*

Onua: I can use my Earth powers to knock him down. Gali, you find Furno, while Tahu and Pohatu hold Krom off. Kopaka, you can make ice cream.

Klak: *walks in* That won't be necessary. This IS a sitcom, after all. Let him go Tren.

Tren Krom: Fine! But I'll be back, Toa!

Tahu: Great. Another enemy. Like I don't have enough of those.

*laughter*

Gali: That was easy.

*Furno walks out*

Furno 3.0: Hey everyone. Thanks for saving me!

Onua, Pohatu, Gali, Lewa, and Kopaka: No problem!

Tahu: I went along for the adventure.

*laughter*

*the 6 Toa walk out, while Tren Krom and Klak have a staring contest*

Klak: Good to see you Tren.

Tren Krom: Why aren't my powers....oh...oh my gosh....MY MIND!

*Tren Krom begins to wriggle and scream in insanity*

Klak: What's with him?

*walks out*

*laughter*

*credits begin to play*

Furno: You know, I wish we were able to fight more.

Tahu: Next time, we should use all the weapons we have...with cheats. And you shouldn't get kidnapped.

*an old man walks in. His head inflates, and he points his arm at Tahu and Furno*

Dr. Hax: HAAAAAX! HAAAAAAX!

*computers fly everywhere*

*laughter*

*Klak walks onstage*

Klak: This episode was meant as satire. If you are any one of the people mentioned or referenced here, or a Canadian, person from Wyoming, a Mormon, a Scientologist, a Belgian rugmaker, or a Mormon Canadian who lives in Wyoming while making Belgian rugs for Scientologists, please do not take any offense. It's a comedy, for crying aloud.

(Made by Klak. Don't take it).

XDDD

THE BEST CHAPTER BY FAR

Honestly, I LOL'ed so many times this chapter, from me to Shroom and Zev, the enemies of BZPB, diabeetus, why you shouldn't use hacks, and so so many more. Keep it up Klak, I love it!

Thanks Shroom!

Chapter 5: What happened while you were gone:

*the Matoran in a Black Suit picks up a strange device that is embedded in a car*

MiaBS: Hm. Looks like fod. Made by Klak don’t take it.

*he gets hit by a flying Furno, and a campy theme song begins to play*

*the six Toa walk out and start dancing in a manner that, if I describe it, will burn your eyes out*

*they stop, and suddenly appear at their house*

Tahu: Terrible theme song.

Furno 2.0: I think I like it.

Pohatu: Of course.

*laughter*

Gali: Anyways, I hope the audience had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

*applause*

Tahu: Indeed! I’m glad we all found the true meaning of Christmas and Happy New Year!

Onua: Getting expensive gifts?

Lewa: Tax returns?

Furno 2.0: Santa Claus?

Gali: Television Christmas specials?

Kopaka: Jack Frost?

*the audience has not stopped laughing since Onua’s line until now*

Pohatu: No, no no. What Tahu means is [the following has been censored by the PC Police. The Politically Correct Police, censoring the truth so that you don’t have to!]

*laughter*

Gali: Ah, I see.

Lewa: Well, I know I had a great Christmas. Matoro’s party was awesome…well, except for the slightly violent part.

*Flash back to the Christmas Party*

Teridax: Hey, Matoro, we’re out of eggnog.

Matoro: OH WOE IS ME! The universe has declared its intentions. Destiny and fate have gone against us!

Lesovikk: Indeed.

*laughter*

Teridax: It’s okay, bro, I brought cider.

Matoro: I’m sowwy.

Zev: I feel you, bro.

Teridax: I see what you did there, Zev. Matoro, calm down.

*Laughter*

Matoro: No! The only way to reverse this is through sacrificing myself to bring all forces of eggnog back! It is my fate! I must accept it as a true Toa hero.

Teridax: You could just go down to the store and get so-

Matoro: FARE THEE WELL, COMRADES! I SHALL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE! *Runs away. A shuffling noise is heard in the broom closet*

*laughter*

*Everyone winces*

*Srgt. Masters walks out of the broom closet*

Sarge: Okay, I had no idea you could use a mop that way.

*flash back ends*

Tahu: Yeah, that was bad. It made everything bittersweet. On Christmas Day, I was not able to tell if Hahli was crying over his death, or because she discovered that I’ve been giving her the same gift for over 5 years.

Furno: How could you?!!!!1!!one!

*laughter*

Tahu: Hey, you should blame yourself. Dead toy lines don’t get that much money anymore.

Gali: Hey, you’re focusing too much on the bad. Furno’s reaction to Matoro getting better at the New Year’s Party was priceless!

*Flash back*

*All sorts of Bionicle, The Lego replacement of Bionicle that shall not be said on BZPB, Lego, and Hasbro figures are hugging each other, shooting fireworks, and screaming ‘Happy New Year’!*

*Matoro hugs Furno, then Furno realizes who he is*

Furno: GREAT SPIRIT!

Mata Nui: *walks up* what?

*laughter*

Furno: IN 2012, THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!

Matoro: I got better.

*laughter*

*flash back ends*

*everyone except for Furno is laughing*

Furno: Hey, hey, hey, my concerns were justified!
Gali: Alright, who wants to play White Elephant?

*Tahu shakes his head, and turns on the TV. A political debate appears*

Pohatu: No can do. I don’t like those strange holiday games you children have.

Lewa: Me neither.

Onua: Ditto.

Kopaka: ‘’

*laughter*

Furno: White elephant?

Tahu: No, no no. The guy on the right is a red elephant, and the guy on the left is a blue donkey. Nowadays, though, it’s hard to tell the difference.

*laughter*

*Later that day*

*Cut to Onua's room. Onua is sitting in a chair, staring at a computer in the darkness*

*Gali walks in, and removes the curtains, bringing light to the room*

Gali: You need to get out more! What are you doing locked up in here anyways?

*on Onua's desk there lies a banana, a pencil, and four pixie sticks*

Onua: Well, I was going to make a fusion reactor with a pencil and pixie sticks that would magnify our Toa powers so that we could use them against future enemies, all while contemplating existentialism from the point of view of the fruit, but you are right. I should get out more.

*Laughter*

Gali: There's a Toa convention nearby. Let's go and meet up with everyone.

*The team and Furno arrive at the convention*

Furno: Um. Why am I disguised as Wilford Brimley?

Lewa: Because if you came here as your normal self-face, you would not survive the onslaught of angry Toa.

Wilford Furno: Got it.

*they enter*

*Lewa spots a group of Air Toa, and runs to them*

*Kopaka sees Ice Toa scattered across an extremely empty area, and walks there*

*Pohatu sees a bunch of hyper stone Toa, and joins them*

Gali: Seriously?

Tahu: Maybe they won't be so significant in this episode?

*laughter*

Tahu: That wasn't supposed to be funny.

*more laughter*

Tahu: No. Just no.

*Vakama walks up to Tahu*

Vakama: H-hey! What's up? I missed you at the session today.

Tahu: There was no session today.

Vakama: Oh, must have been my psychic powers acting up again.

Gali: Nice to see you, Vakama. Where's everyone else?

Vakama: Well, Nokama is probably doing something over at the waterside, and the others are in their respective sides, except for the one whose name escapes me, who is right behind you.

*Onewa pokes Onua*

Onua: Hey Onewa!

Onewa: Hey Onua!

Tahu: Aren't their names extremely similar?

Gali: We're not supposed to know that, shut up Tahu.

*laughter*

Wilford Brimley: Yea.

Vakama: Cool! A celebrity!

Tahu: Vakama, you’re a semi-internet celebrity too.

Vakama: Cool! A more famous person!

*laughter*

Onua: Is that laughter really necessary? Do they really need to point out what is funny and what is not?

Onewa: Indeed, friend.

Tahu: I’m gonna go get a spicy soda.

*walks up to a stand and sees Ferret at the counter*

Ferret: Welcome to Klak and Jack. Providing all your spying and soda needs.

Tahu: Wait, you’re working for Ynot, Ferret? This is just hilarious.

Ferret: You know what is more hilarious? You getting stabbed in the face with a pen while juggling hedgehog feed.

*laughter*

Tahu: Touché. Get me a Spicy Sip.

*Ferret passes him the drink, and nods kindly*

Tahu: Thank you, Ferret.

Ferret: You’re welcome. But what does that mean, anyway? ‘You are welcome.’ Such a strange phase; kind of like Hakuna Matata.

Tahu: Save the philosophy for Onua.

*laughter*

*Tahu leaves the stand*

Ferret: I wonder where Sage is?

*a chair next to her is empty*

*Meanwhile, outside of the convention, Sarge sits on a stool chair*

*a random guy walks up to him*

Guy: Are you a security guard?

Sarge: Um. Sure! Let’s go with that! Sign here please for an amazing petition/offer/giveaway/experiment.

*laughter*

Guy: Experiment?

Sarge: What? Who said that? Sign here please!

*the guy signs*

Sarge: Okay, right this way please!

*The man is suddenly pushed into a box labeled ‘Portal Experiment Subject #188’*

*laughter*

Sarge: And we’re right on schedule!

*Grabs box, loads it into a random truck that was not there before, and leaves*

Yon: Thisiswhyiavoidconventionz. (o)

*Yon leaves*

*The audience is mystified, just like Flynn, right?*

*Tahu has gone through the entire can of soda in a second. But for the sake of humor, we’ll see what Lewa is doing*

Lewa: Oh, great. Here comes Iriuni.

Iriuni: Hello! You can all bask in my superior golden rays of armor now.

Lewa: That’s not canon.

Iriuni: Yes it is.

Lewa: No, what I meant was, in the Bionicle canon, the Toa Nuva are stronger than the Toa Hagah.

Kongu: More like the Toa Ha-ha if you ask me.

*laughter*

Iriuni: Don’t make me get violent.

Lewa: Excuse me?

Kongu: Here we go.

*grabs his lightning sword and points it at Iriuni, who already has his spear pointed at Lewa*

Lewa: Stop this! *aims his sword at Kongu*

Lesovikk: Don’t escalate the situation, Lewa. *holds sword up to Lewa*

Another Toa of Air: Don’t get involved. *aims blast of air at Lesovikk*

*Meanwhile, Tahu, Gali, Furno…er…I mean Brimley Onewa, and Vakama have been having fun looking at all the exhibits, saying hi to old friends (except for Nidhiki, because he’s no longer a toa lol), and laughing*


Vakama: What is everyone doing?

*everyone in the convention is forcing another at weapon point to stop forcing someone else at weapon point so that someone else is not forcing someone else at gun point and…well….you get the idea*

Pohatu: *with a rock and a staff aimed at two other people* This has Lewa written all over it!

Furno: Darn it! *rips off mask* Stop forcing others at weapon point you unfriendly dolts! *Furno happens to be holding a copy of Rolling Stones magazine in his hand*

*everyone turns their head, even Sarge and Ferret*

All: What is THAT doing here?

Tahu: Oh f-

*laughter*

*a wild brawl ensues*

The End.

No seriously, its over. Anything you don’t get google it. The episode is over, seriously. Good Day!

This is why I love Christmas specials Seriously, that one was so funny I was nearly crying at one point! The intro and the flashbacks were my favourite part, like in Flynn, rite? Can't wait till the next chapter!

Thanks again for your reviews and input. Now, the episode you have waited months for has finally arrived!

Chapter 6: Psycho.

*the Matoran in a Black Suit picks up a strange device that is embedded in a car*

MiaBS: Hm. Looks like fod. Made by Klak, don’t take it.

*he gets hit by a flying Furno, and a campy theme song begins to play*

*the six Toa walk out and start dancing in a manner that, if I describe it, will burn your eyes out*

*they stop, and suddenly appear at their house*

Tahu: That felt worse than impaling yourself on a cactus.

Furno: I thought it was okay.

Pohatu: Of cour-WAIT. Why are we repeating this?

Gali: Must be part of the intro.

*Transition*

*Tahu is sitting, alone, in a room*

*Gelu walks in*

Tahu: Isn’t it usually a woman who delivers these news?

Gelu: First of all, that sounds sexist. Second, you did so well in your anger management sessions that you have now leveled up. A personal therapist will see you now.

Tahu: What about the others?

Gelu: Are you kidding? If I let them get past the Anger Management stage, my boss will put ME in an asylum.

Tahu: Wow. That’s co-

*Gelu is gone*

Tahu: Aww. He didn’t let me make an ice pun. Get it, because he’s from the Ice Tribe?

*Pause*

Tahu: Okay, I’m surprised I did not notice this before, but what happened to the studio audience?

Cameraman: No audience for this episode. Producers want to see if they affect the overall humour of the comedy.

Tahu: Seems legit.

*Gelu pops in*

Gelu: Hey, at least you didn’t make a pun about my name. Zaktan has a fun time doing that.

Tahu: How would I-Oh. Dear.

*Gelu leaves*

*A woman wearing glasses and a nice dress walks in. She is holding some papers*

???: Hello. I am Doctor Joanna Shepard.

*Tahu chuckles*

Dr. JS: What?

Tahu: Oh..eh…nothing. Nothing. You are my therapist? Excellent, let us begin.

*She sits down*

*Meanwhile, at the apartment…*

Gali: Yes, Furno, that is a screwdriver that the Doctor is using. But it-

Furno: I don’t see how this is relevant. Plus, how come he isn’t performing medicine?

Gali: Well….er..

Kopaka: Just watch the darn programme.

Onua: Why did you….

Kopaka: *in an angered tone* What, Onua?

Onua: Why did you say ‘programme’ instead of program; or show, for that matter?

Lewa: How Onua notices these things will forever astound me.

Kopaka: One, this comedy is presently being posted on a The Divine Race site. Two, it is a The Divine Race show.

Onua: Ah, I see. You win this round, Kopaka.

Kopaka: If only I won the war against everyone’s neurotic attitudes.

Lewa: Pot, meet kettle.

Kopaka: Every. Living. Daylight will be beaten out of your lamp if you mention that wretched analogy again.

Gali: You know what? Let’s go outside.

*Furno runs to the door, and goes outside*

*Angry penguins attack Furno*

Gali: Huh. Well. Never mind then.

Lewa: I didn’t know it was Penguin Protesting Season again.

*Back to Tahu!*

Dr. JS: First, to assess your reactions, we will use the Glasses Method. *She pulls out a box full of glasses* Each glasses makes you act like a certain stereotypical person. If you act exactly like the stereotype, then you are fine. If you act worse than the stereotype, there’s something wrong with you.

Tahu: I don’t see how that logic wo-

Dr. JS: First, we have the “Commie glasses”. Anything to the right of you is involved in a massive Christian fascist conspiracy that is taking over the world, but if someone says that communism is actually becoming a bad influence, you roll your eyes and call them a crackpot. Also, you call everyone racist and sexist for some reason. You believe in entitlements but think that the government shouldn’t control your body while everyone pays for whatever you want to do with it. If someone disagrees with you, they are evil, but you are a diverse and tolerant person.

Tahu: No. I don’t want that, thank you very much.

Dr. JS: Yes, we usually get that response. All right. Now we have the “BZPower” glasses.

*Tahu puts them on, and his expression suddenly changes*

Dr. JS: What do you think of Bionicle?

Tahu: Terrible storyline, terrible sets. Worst Lego Line ever made. The B in BZPower does not stand for Bionicle. If you disagree with me, you worship plastic.

Dr. JS: And Hero Factory?

Tahu: BEST LINE EVER! ZOMG I OWN EVERY SET AND I KISS THEM EVERY DAY.

Dr. JS: *writes some notes* Someone disagrees with you on a forum, what do you do?

Tahu: I will troll them, flame them, exaggerate their opinions, tell them they worship plastic and are outdated, and that their fandom is dead so there is no point in talking about it after typing a really long post about it.

Dr. JS: Interesting. Won’t the admins stop you?

Tahu: They’re on my side.

Dr. JS: Stalin is terrible.

Tahu: That’s politically incorrect, and there is no place for that on BZPower!

Dr. JS: Stalin is great.

Tahu: That’s your opinion, and I will make sure to repeat that it is your opinion every time someone challenges you.

Dr. JS: Hitler was insane.

Tahu: What? Hitler was good because the Nazis said they were good! You are an evil Nazi for thinking that the Nazis were evil, darn National Socialist scum!

Dr. JS: There are several people trolling and flaming others in COT, and many of them are staff members.

Tahu: What are you talking about? I haven’t seen anything. Must be a vocal minority.

Dr. JS: There is someone saying that Bionicle is great.

Tahu: HORRIBLE TROLL! THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SITE! BAN HIM! BAN HIM!

*he takes off the glasses, and shudders*

Tahu: Woah. Powerful stuff. Did I just say that Hitler was good?

Dr. JS: Yes. Yes you did.

Tahu: Are…. Are BZPower members that dumb?

Dr. JS: No. Again, the glasses are meant for satire. We all know that there are bountiful loads of BZPower members that are great people.

Tahu: Phew…

Dr. JS: Ahem. Now we have the ‘BZPB’ glasse-

*she pauses, and both look at you, the reader*

*they both squint*

Dr. JS: Maybe we’ll do that next time.

Tahu: Yes. Yes indeed.

*switch back to the others*

Lewa: *starts coughing wildly*

Gali: Why is Furno trapped in the TV?

Kopaka, Onua, Pohatu: *at the same time* Wasn’t me.

Lewa: I didn’t do it either.

Furno: I’m trying to find the magic people inside of the box!

Onua: Oh.

Kopaka: My.

Lewa: Gosh.

Gali: Furno, there are no tiny people inside the television.

*A minature Neil Patrick Harris runs away from the television*

Gali: I stand corrected.

Kopaka: No, you stand on two feet.

*silence*

Pohatu: Worst gag in decades.


*Suddenly, without warning, a knocking is heard on the door*

*Lewa opens*

Lewa: STAND BACK VILE PENGU-oh, hello Ferret.

Ferret: Would you like to buy a product from “Klak & Ferret’s?”

Lewa: I thought it was Klak and Ynot.

Ferret: Pfft. You underestimate my power of persuasion on Ynot.

Lewa: Running into Ynot’s office and telling him they were going to cancel Batman does not count as persuasion.

Ferret: Damn it.

Lewa: And why didn’t you take over Klak’s end of the business?

Ferret: I had to wait in a line that was full of gangsters trying to kill Klak. It took a while, so I went to go get a cupcake. When I got back, Klak was smiling and saying something about pens being used as shields and notebooks as weapons.

Gali: That sounds about right.

Ferret: Buy the killer notebook, free with a picture of Yon for only $19.95.

*Overlord passes by, and sees the picture of Yon*

Overlord: Ugh. *shouting* To głupi żart jest wszędzie!

*he runs away*

Lewa: Uh-huh. No thanks.

Ferret: I’m going home. *she leaves, drawing something on the notebook*

*Suddenly, KoN walks into the house*

Furno: Hi, KoN!

KoN: *cheerily* Hello!

Kopaka: Oh, you aren’t a vampire anymore.

KoN: Yes, I’m done with that.

Gali: Indeed. He broke up with G-K a LOOONG time ago.

*KoN smiles, and twitches madly for a few seconds*

KoN: Indeed. G-K atrocities.

*Sarge walks in*

Sarge: Did someone say the game?

*everyone facepalms*

All: WE LOST THE GAME.

Sarge: HAHA! Outdeed. Indeed!

Gali; What brings you here, Sarge and KoN?

Kopaka: And will we have any more random guests?

*Shroom walks in, carrying a copy of Mass Effect 3*

Shroom: BEST. GAME. EVER~.

Onua: ZOMG! MASS EFFECT 3!!

*they begin to discuss how great video games are*

Kopaka: Who’s next, Ynot? Adrastos?
Adrastos: I am not here!

Ynot: Right you are, Kopaka.

*they both walk in*

Gali: Wow. This is almost as random as the time I was attacked by a bear.

*cuts away to Gali surfing the internet*

*suddenly, a bear bursts through the door, and pushes her off the chair*

Bear: Not cool, man! Not cool!

*he walks away*

Ynot: Furno, get out of the TV.

Furno: *does so* Put on ESPN.

*they change the channel*

*a baseball game is playing*

Onua: Oh boy! Baseball! I wonder…who’s on first?

Kopaka: Yep.

Onua: No, no, who’s on first?

Kopaka: Yes, yes, who is on first.

Onua: I’m asking you, who is on first?

Kopaka: Of course.

Onua: What’s the guy’s name on first?

Ynot: No, no. What is on second, who is on first.

Onua: I’M ASKING YOU!

KoN: lolololol

Gali: Ugh. If we keep stealing jokes from Abbot & Costello, I will eat a soda.

*suddenly, Gali is in the kitchen, biting on the soda*

Ynot: That was fast.

KoN: Too fast. I have a joke for you, everyon.

Kopaka: If it’s another Yon joke, I will sue your children before they are born.

Lewa: Are all your lines meant to be nonsensical threats?

Kopaka: No. Now shut up and listen to KoN’s joke before I slam a window onto your lamp’s cousin’s roommate.

KoN: What do you call a raven on a writing desk?

All: What?

KoN: A Poem! LOLOLOLOLOL

*Everyone looks bewildered at KoN. Ynot snickers. Lewa, Onua, Pohatu, and even Gali start cracking up*

Kopaka: I…don’t get it.

Furno: Neither do I.

Lewa: A POEM! THAT WAS GREAT! *is laughing hysterically*

Kopaka: What’s so funny?

Furno: Probably a Bionicle joke or something.

Kopaka: I would have understood it. Ugh. Must be The Divine Race humor or something.

*cut back to Tahu*

Tahu: And that’s how I lost the right to park in Los Angeles.

Dr. JS: Hmm… I see. All right, based on my diagnosis, you have only latent anger issues. The management center helped. You also have a fear of rejection. This in turn causes more anger and slight bitterness.

Tahu: Oh, so I’m not hotheaded because it’s part of my character development as a being that represents and wields the element of fire?

Dr. JS: No, no. *chuckles*

*Greg Farshtey’s facepalm is heard across the planet*

Tahu: So, I’m done here?

Dr. JS: Yes, we shall reconvene next week. Thank you very much, Tahu Nuva.

Tahu: Call me Tahu.

Dr. JS: That’s what I said, Tahu.

Tahu: But you added Nuva.

Dr. JS: That is your last name. I always say my patient’s last name before leaving them. Good day, Tahu Nuva.

Tahu: Time to go home.

*Tahu walks by the Anger Management table, and sees Pridak smiling wildly*

Tahu: What…happened?

Pridak: Everyone went to go get donuts. What they don’t know is that I spiked the donuts with chemicals that produce laughter!

Tahu: And what would you gain from that?

Pridak: While they laugh, I will stay serious. Thus showing how I am the capable leader.

Tahu: And Gelu will get fired?

Pridak: Oh…hums…haven’t taken that into account.

Tahu: *sighs* Ciao, Pridak.

Pridak: Same time next week?

Tahu: You bet.

*Tahu leaves, and gets into a Model T Ford*

*He drives by a Denny’s that is hanging a poster of Asved, the employee of the month*

*Boris Johnson rides by Tahu’s car on his bike, and waves at him*

*Meanwhile, back at the house*

*the guests are staring at the television*

Ynot: No! No! That’s where the dog-thing is!

Lewa: GAH! PEETA YOU IDIOT!

Pohatu: Run! Run!

KoN: *sips tea*

Adrastos: NO! CATO IS THERE!

Gali: Zomg, zomg, zomg.

Shroom: Dude…Peeta’s stupid.~

Ferret: Pass the popcorn, Onua.

*Onua does so*

Sarge: Pass the unidentifiable nintendonium laced food that I shall consume for mere pleasure.

*Onua does so*

*Furno opens the door for Tahu, who is bewildered*

Tahu: Penguins? That’s insane. OOH! THE HUNGER GAMES!

Furno: How do you have it on TV anyways?

Klak: *peeks in from a window* Shh! I couldn’t think of another popular movie everyone here liked!

*KoN chuckles*

*Zev, wearing a general’s uniform with a pin saying “Zev 2012”, drags out Klak*

Klak: Oh.

Zev: WANT TO WATCH ANOTHER MIND SCREWING EPISODE OF TENCHI MUYO?! YIHIHIHAHAHAHAHAHA!~

*He runs away, laughing maniacally*

*Klak spits on the ground, coughs, and walks away*

*Zev comes back, and starts watching whatever’s left of the movie*

*movie ends, credits roll*

Ynot: Well, I’m heading out.

Ferret: Me too.

Zev: Me three.

Shroom: Me four.

KoN: Me eat sandvich.

*Everyone looks at him bewildered while Klak’s laughter is heard in the background*

Sarge: Outdeed. But there’s a quick test I would like to make.

Lewa: What?

Sarge: The Game! YOHOHOHOHOHOHHOHO! *he runs away*

*Everyon loses the game*

*Kopaka starts laughing loudly*

Kopaka: HAHA! POEM! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!

The End!

*A man carrying a card that labels him as Disclaimer-Man walks up to you, the reader*

Disclaimer-Man: We realize that this episode had some quite offensive satirical material. Remember, it was flanderized hyperbole, and was only meant to poke fun. I’m sure not all of those mocked are like that. So if you’re a commie, a BZP member, Yon, a BZPB member, a Belgian rug-maker, a Belgian rug, or a Commie Terugan Belgian Rug-making rug that frequents forum websites, please do not feel offended. But if you’re a Nazi or a Communist, feel offended. Thank you very much, and have a good night!

Finito.

LOLOLOLOL

Great job! I think you definitely captured all of our personalities there very well, and there was some great one-liners.

Klak is credit to comedy o7

That was pretty good. However, "To głupi żart jest wszędzie!" should be "Ten głupi żart jest wszędzie!".

Kakamu wrote:LOLOLOLOL

Great job! I think you definitely captured all of our personalities there very well, and there was some great one-liners.

Klak is credit to comedy o7

Thank you, thank you! o7

Black Shadow wrote:That was pretty good. However, "To głupi żart jest wszędzie!" should be "Ten głupi żart jest wszędzie!".

Hey, blame google translate

:yaoming:

And I'm surprised the blatant mockery of commies didn't turn you into Angry-DRJ. And I'm surprised NO ONE FOUND THE POEM JOKE FUNNY.

Left-of-center political leanings do not automatically make someone a communist, Klak. It's like me saying you're a Nazi.

Yes, I know that . I just inserted the commie part for insanity purposes, not to slander anyone.

And I can't be National Socialist at all.

Chapter 7: Thinking with Portals.

*the Matoran in a Black Suit picks up a strange device that is embedded in a car*

MiaBS: Hm. Looks like fod. Made by Kalk, don’t take it.

*he gets hit by a flying Furno, and a campy theme song begins to play*

*the six Toa walk out and start dancing like Chell in a pastry shop*

Pohatu: So I…uh….yeah.

*cut to everyone riding bikes*

Tahu: I loved her like the sun. It was the best day ever.

*Everyone stops at the stoplight (duh) and Boris Johnson stops next to them*

Boris Johnson: Hey. You! *points at Onua* Buttery. Biscuit. Base.

Onua: Challenge accepted.

*they look at each other, squinting their eyes in anger*

Lewa: This will not end well.

*Green light! Onua and Boris Johnson begin pedaling away, racing each other*

Tahu: This will not end well.

Lewa: That’s what I said.

*Onua and Boris Johnson crash into each other*

Onua: That did not end well.

Lewa: That’s what I said.

Boris Johnson: Blimey.

*Onua gets up, and walks up to the others*

Onua: So…erm…I think I need to go to the hospital.

Lewa: Yeah you do. *laughs, and sees something in the distance* Ooh, you guys go ahead, I have to go teach Furno something.

Gali: If “teaching” involves showing Furno how to hurt himself, I won’t allow it.

Onua: No, seriously, my leg is busted.

Kopaka: How does a strong super-powered half-mechanical half organic creature need to go to the hospital over a bicycle crash?

Onua: …..Shut up!

Pohatu: Okay, okay, no need to get your jimmies in a rustle. Let’s go, guys. *Pohatu grabs Onua by the collar, and drags him across the sidewalk while the Toa ride to the Hospital*

Furno: Doesn’t that…make his condition worse?

Lewa: Pohatu doesn’t take retirement-quitting well. Anyways, come with me!

*Lewa and Furno walk to a far off house, and enter it*

Furno: Aren’t we committing a crime?

Lewa: Trust me, I’m allowed in this house.

*flashback to Lewa knocking on the door, and someone yelling “Come in!”*

Furno: Really? That’s your excuse?

Lewa: You got a better one?
Furno: ….Nope.

*Lewa and Furno sneak through the elaborately decorated house, and hear singing coming from upstairs*

Lewa: I wonder who that is.

*he flies upstairs, then flies back downstairs almost immediately*

Lewa: Mata Nui….Brutaka is taking a shower. Thank goodness I did not look.

Furno: Can I s-

Lewa: HELL NO YOU CAN’T!

*he drags Furno away from the stairs*

*Lewa points Furno towards a golden shiny mask in the distance*

Lewa: That is the Olmak, mask of Dimensional Gates. It is used to travel all throughout space. Though Brutaka mostly uses it to go to the grocery store. We could take it just to mess with him!

Furno: You know…..if it’s so valuable, why would he leave it lying around?

Lewa: Because, I don’t know, no one ever thinks to steal things that are supposed to be props, or, I don’t know, a massive hulking warrior could rip them in half for stealing it!

Furno: And you want to make that very same warrior angry?

Lewa: One, it’s a prank, and two, since when are you the voice of reason?

Furno: Since I became the smartest person in the room.

Lewa: Wow. Just wow. No wonder Tahu hurts you. You’re an-

*someone is heard going down the stairs*

Lewa: Quick! Get the mask!

*they do so, and Lewa puts it over his*

*SUDDENLY, LEWA AND FURNO TELEPORT!*

Lewa: Um…where are we?

Furno: I…I don’t know.

*a theme begins to play*

Voice: My Little Pony, My Little Pony, AAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Lewa: what.

Voice: MY LITTLE PONY! I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE

Furno: GET US OUT!

Lewa: But…but Friendship!

Furno: No, I’d much rather be in Forks.

Lewa: *with his eyes widened in anger* Excuse me?

*He teleports, and they arrive in Forks*

Lewa: Look at that. Nice and gloomy and crappy.

Furno: ZOMG LOOK IT’S EDWARD CULLEN.

*a shining man walks up to them*

Lewa: Are you stupid? That’s A VAMPIRE! *Lewa blasts the shining man away with air*

Furno: We…we don’t have blood.

Lewa: Vampires deserve to be defeated.

Furno: Why not slayed?

Lewa: Toa Code. We can’t kill.

Furno: We can’t either.

Lewa: You’re incapable of killing. We just choose not to.

*they teleportal to another world!*


GLaDOS: Oh good. More test subjects. One of you is fatter than the other. Wait, no, that insult doesn’t work. Neither of you are humans.
Furno: Hail Glados.

Lewa: Sorry, lady, we aren’t in the mood for science.

*he disappears along with Furno*

*from behind a wall, Sarge pops out, and sheds a tear*

*Meanwhile, Lewa and Furno are too busy running away from a dinosaur*

Lewa: Are we seriously doing this?

Furno: The dinosaur is evil, or maybe just misunderstood!

Lewa: Why does this sound like a badly written plot?

*the dinosaur pauses, looks at Lewa puzzled*

*Both the dinosaur and Lewa smile, and look at Furno*

Furno: ….what?

*Meanwhile, at the hospital*

Doctor: Um….I still don’t understand how you got so injured from a bicycle crash, especially someone like you.

*Onua is somehow in a full body cast with a black eye*

Onua: Big guy, big fall, I guess.

*Tahu whispers to Gali*

Tahu:  And big bill.

Gali: *elbows Tahu in the gut*

*back to the people this chapter is about*

Furno: Huh. It looks like we’re in a universe full of Internet social criticisms.

*a man laughs his head off. A comedian points it out, and the man is offended*

Lewa: HAHA! I see what they did there!

Furno: I don’t. What does it mean?

*A man walks up to Lewa, and screams in his face*

???: TOYLINE WORSHIPPER!

*he then pats Furno on the head*

???: Nice little boy.

*he then walks away*

Furno: ….what.

*they leave this strange dimension, and arrive in yet another*

*It seems to be one full of mythical creatures. A tall elf walks up to them*

???: *in an Eastern European, slightly Irish and squeaky accent* Excuse me, kind sirs. But may you direct me to the youngest source of life that I may feed upon? I plan on living 1000 more years, up to 1945!

Lewa: Uh….*whispers to Furno* Where are we?

Furno: I…I don’t know, maybe over a thousand and 67 years in the past?

Lewa: Nice math skills. *clears throat* This little guy right here is Lego’s new favorite toy. He’s got years ahead of him, feed!

*the elf absorbs some of Furno’s age*

???: Lego, eh? Hm…..I might be interested in whatever that is.

*he walks away*

Furno: He’s going to be alive until 1945? NICE GOING!

Lewa: Don’t worry! I’m sure he won’t find a source to feed off of in the future…or….our past…or whatever.

*they teleport away*

*1000 years after this event in time*

*the elf is disguised as a Soviet soldier*

*he sees several Nazi prisoners, and picks one out*

???: I can’t be bothered to actually eat food, so I’ll just pick you.

*he absorbs the age of the Nazi prisoners with justice*

Elf: Hot Dog! Now I can live up to 2012 or maybe longer. I might have to take a vacation to refuel myself by then.

*back to our main characters*

*Lewa and Furno appear in what looks like the stage for a comedic talk show*

*Makuta Krika looks up, and stares at them, rather confused*

Krika: Uh….what?

Lewa: Sorry to interrupt! Sorry!

*Lewa and Furno disappear*

*they reappear at their home, safe and sound*

Lewa: Well that was fun!

Furno: Wait, aren’t we supposed to give Brutaka his mask back?

*Brutaka bursts into the house, and yells*

Brutaka: WHICH ONE OF YOU STOLE MY MASK?!

*he is wearing a bathrobe*


How will Lewa and Furno escape this one? Will Onua be able to get out of the hospital? Will Tahu continue to worry about healthcare costs? Is this a sitcom without a laughter track? Find out on the next episode of The Toas!

To be continued!

*laughter track*

Interesting set of Hijinks.
May you live ling and prosper

I love the surreal shifts in plot your comedy has.

I plan on keeping up with this better in the future, you'll have to forgive me for not reviewing until now.

Until the next time.

Chapter 8: We're back

*Lewa, Furno, and Onua are all sipping Arnold Palmers on a patio*

Furno: "Guh, I suppose we have to explain why we're okay."

Onua: "Time skip, Furno. Time skip."

Furno: "Right."

*They continue sipping their drinks*

*Gali walks outside*

Gali: "It's a beautiful day! Why not do something active?"

Onua: "This is active."

Lewa: "Besides, it's almost night time."

Gali: "Exactly. We should dine out today!"

Furno: "Something's different about you."

Lewa: "She's always this bubbly. You've roomed with us for 3 years now, Furno, I thought you'd notice that."

Furno: "No, look. Her mask has a reddish tint around its cheeks. I think she's...."

Onua: "Oh no."

Lewa: "Oh no."

Gregf: "Oh no."

Furno: "In love."

*Gali giggles*

Gali: "You'll find out at dinner!"

*she skips away*

Lewa: "Welp, Tahu's going to be pissed."

Furno: "Why?"

Lewa: "You know how he's the overbearing older brother, right?"

*flashback begins*

Tahu: "Lewa, what are you doing?"

Lewa: "Trying to fly!"

Tahu: "Sounds great! Now, why aren't you wearing a helmet?"

Lewa: "I....uh..."

*Tahu smiles creepily*

Tahu: "If you don't wear a helmet, you won't be trying to fly. You'll be trying to die! Understand?"

Lewa: "Y-yes, T-Tahu."

*flashback ends*

Furno: "Uuuh..."

Lewa: "Well, he'll probably KILL Gali's boyfriend if he doesn't approve of him!"

Furno: "I see. Where is he now?"

Onua: "Therapy."

---

*Meanwhile, at the anger management circle*

*Gelu, Tahu, Roodaka, Vakama, all six Piraka, Malum, and Pridak are all sitting in a circle*

Tahu: "Why am I still here? It's been three years."

Gelu: "*In an emotionless voice* You were about to be let out a year ago, until you threw a man off of the second floor of a building. We just didn't bother telling you because you would come anyway."

Tahu: "Okay, okay: 1. I did not know humans were that fragile; 2. He only received minor injuries, 3. He said he was going to kill his wife, 4. I had no idea he was George Clooney, 5. I had no idea I was on a film set."

Gelu: "Details, details. Anyways, share how you've succeeded in controlling your anger."

Zaktann: "I didn't slap my minion when he failed."

Reidak: "I took it out on a punching bag. Said punching bag may or may not have been organic."

Avak: "I was calm and collected throughout!"

Hakann: "I only set fire to one thing."

Malum: "I think of daisies."

Thok: "...."

Roodaka: "I think of a world where I am Supreme Queen, and suddenly calm down."

Pridak: "I do the same, Roodaka."

*Everyone looks at him awkwardly*

Pridak: "Uhm, well, I'd be Supreme King of the world, of course."

Vakama: "It's happening!"

Gelu: "....Rrrright. Tahu?"

Tahu: "Drinking milk helps."

Gelu: "Okay. So only a handful of you have made actual progress. Wonderful. They don't pay me enough."

Zaktann: "Uh, Gelu, can we ask you a personal question? Is your real name 'Lou'?"

Gelu: "*presents a confused visage* No. Why would it be Lou?"

Avak: "Wellll.....maybe Gelu is just a nickname."

Gelu: "I'm not sure what you're getting at here."

Zaktann: "The way your name is pronounced. Gay-Loo."

Roodaka: "Is that your way of coping with bullying?"

Gelu: "I'm not gay, Zaktann."

Zaktann: "Hey man, I can keep a secret, I'll support you all the way."

Gelu: "I have a wife, Zaktann."

Zaktann: "I'm sure he's a nice lady!"

Gelu: "Zaktann, you're not tan because your name is 'Zock-tan'."

Zaktann: "Well, when I go to the beach I-"

*Zaktann stops, and the room is silent*

Gelu: "Okay. You're dismissed."

---

*A table in this Random Restaurant*

Lewa: "What's taking him so long?"

Gali: "I texted him the details. He'll be here."

Onua: "Traffic must be terrible."

Furno: "Hey, guys, what happened to the laugh track?"

Lewa: "Oh, they were sent on vacation."

*Pohatu and Kopaka are head arguing about films in the background*

---

*Random Restaurant, Bar Section*

Pohatu: "Look, Dr. Strangelove was easily just as funny as Airplane."

Kopaka: "Um, no. Airplane is infinitely funnier."

Pohatu: "Why does one have to be funnier than the other? They're both different kinds of humor. One is screwball, while the other is black comedy."

Kopaka: "That is irrelevant. AFI agrees with me."

Pohatu: "AFI is flawed, because Casablanca isn't number one."

Kopaka: "You haven't even watched Citizen Kane!"

Pohatu: "It doesn't look like my cup of tea."

Kopaka: "Well, Michael Bay movies aren't my cup of tea! Yet I watch them!"

Pohatu: "Bay is different!!"

Kopaka: "Of course they're different from one another! One's the worst director ever, and the other is Orson Welles!"

Pohatu: "Don't you dare insult Mikey."

Kopaka: "I did. What are you going to do about it?"

---

*Outside, Tahu is engaged in a war over a parking space*

*Bombs explode near him as he drives into it*

Tahu: "We made it Bobby. Bobby?!"

*a human near him is coughing.*

Tahu: "No! Bobby! Stay with me, buddy, stay with me!"

Bobby: "No use, Tahu. Tell my mother, I said....hi....."

*He closes his eyes*

*A minute later, he opens them*

Bobby: "I'm not charging you for the valet yet, but the "Parking In A War Movie" spectacle is $40."

Tahu: "Deal."

---

*Gali's table inside of the Random Restaurant*

Tahu: "Hello everyone!"

*Everyone greets Tahu*

*he sits*

Tahu: "So, what's the announcement?"

Gali: "Well, guys, since Pohatu and Kopaka already know....I'm seeing someone."

Tahu: "Yes, you usually do that with your eyes."

Gali: "No, Tahu. I'm going out with someone."

Tahu: "Isn't that what we're all doing right now, or do you need fresh air?"

Gali: "No, I'm dating someone!"

Lewa: "If you make a calender joke, Tahu, so help me..."

*Tahu's eyes widen. His face twitches*

Tahu: "Hehe. What's his name?"

Gali: "It's Nidhiki."

*Tahu grins psychotically*

Tahu: "*with gritted teeth* Wonderful."

*A mark of his hands burns into the table*

*Kopaka crashes onto the table, breaking it in half*

Pohatu: "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO FILLET THE BAY!"

Furno: "That's the second table we break this week."

Lewa: "Indeed."



Will Tahu learn to accept Nidhiki? Will Kopaka stop insulting Pohatu's taste in movies? Who will pay for the broken table? This and more, on the next episode of The Toas!

I lol'ed at GregF's cameo and people thinking Gelu was gay.

Also, I misread "Bobby" as "Blobby", could not unsee.

So yeah, an excellent chapter after a two-year break! Hope Nidhiki gets cut some slack (not really )

Holy crap, it's been that long. Great one, dude. Hope we don't have to wait two years for the next one

My thoughts precede me in Heats comment

Glad to see you all enjoyed it! And don't worry, Heat, the new episode will be up in █████!

Chapter 9: Ta-hu's Coming to Dinner

Lewa: Whoever made that pun should be shot.

*Everyone save for Gali is sitting nervously in the living room of the Toas' Apartment*

Onua: Is the laughter track still on vacation?

Lewa: Yep.

Pohatu: Well, at least the children won't be scarred by the violence we're about to see.

Tahu: Oh come now. I'm sure Nidhiki's changed. I'm sure he's good enough for our sister.

Furno: Who's Nidhiki?

Lewa: He's an old enemy. Long story. *turns to you, the reader* WHICH YOU CAN SEE IN BIONICLE 2: LEGENDS OF METRU NUI! OUT NOW ON NETFLIX!

Kopaka: Web of Shadows was better.

Pohatu: Web of Shadows was not as good as Mask of Light, or The Legend Reborn.

Kopaka: Yeah, I'm sure audiences loved frozen, lifeless backgrounds.

Pohatu: The focus of the film was on characters and their story, and the lifeless backgrounds were meant to portray a cursed world!

Kopaka: Or the animators didn't feel like adding much because we all know what the movie was made for!

Pohatu: But that's a good thing, Kopaka!

Kopaka: Not when you aren't one of those toys, damn it!

Furno: My movies were fine.

*Pohatu and Kopaka glare at Furno*

Tahu: Guys, calm yourselves.

Onua: You're unusually tranquil.

Tahu: Yes. And I haven't even had a glass of milk!

Lewa: The only time I've seen you this calm was when we were about to...oh crap.

*the doorbell rings, and everyone runs to the door, crashing into each other*

*Furno gets away from the dog pile, and opens the door*

*Nidhiki, in his Toa form, stands there, holding flowers awkwardly*

Nidhiki: H-hi, guys.

Tahu: F**kin' beta.

-Meanwhile, at the kitchen-

Hungry-man: Cor, I'm bloody 'ungry.

Nadle: That's why we're here, Hungry-man. We're inviting ourselves to dinner.

Hungry-man: that's gr8 m8.

-Inside the living room-

*Nidhiki sits down with everyone. Tahu is staring intently at him*

Tahu: So, tell me more about yourself, Nidhiki.

Onua: Yeah, I mean, we haven't gotten to know each other off set.

Kopaka: Favorite Bogart movie?

Nidhiki: Uh, who?

Kopaka: Oh no.

Pohatu: Favorite director?

Nidhiki: Tommy Wiseau, of course!

Pohatu: You're tearing me apart, Nidhiki.

Furno: Favorite sport?

Nidhiki: Sports are for losers.

*Pohatu's eyes widen as he holds his anger*

Onua: What excites you about American Jeffersonian architecture?

Nidhiki: I prefer Gothic myself.

Onua: Hmm, good taste.

*Gali walks down the stairs wearing a dress*

Gali: Hello, Nidhiki!

*they walk up to each other, and embrace*

*Nidhiki and Gali begin talking like lovers do, and Pohatu leans in to the others*

Pohatu: So, how do we kill him?

Onua: Pohatu! That's illegal!

Tahu: Exactly! We'd have to frame him for a crime first, then kill him. Vigilantism will probably get less time in prison.

Kopaka: No, that's cold and cruel, Tahu. We need to make it look like an accident.

Furno: No, that's devious and devilish, Kopaka! We have to strongly urge him to commit suicide.

Onua: You are all insane.

Tahu: Hey, this is for comedic purposes. We are not THAT murderous.

*Nidhiki comes back with Gali, and the other Toa pretend to laugh at an unknown joke*

Tahu: Come join us, Nidhiki!

Nidhiki: Oh, I have a joke!

-Meanwhile, in the dining room which is near the kitchen-

Nadle: I wonder why they're taking so long.

Hungry-man: this suks

-Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location-

Paws: Hmmmm.

MakutaKlak: Okay, Mally, just throw a pixie stick on that target, and you'll see some fireworks.

Mally: .... This doesn't make any sense. Is this an April Fool's joke?

MakutaKlak: No, the joke is on the website. Just trust me, man.

DRJ: You'll see

KoN: >making sense in 2014

Nif: lel

*Mally throws the pixie stick on the target. Suddenly, fireworks explode across the sky*

MakutaKlak: SEE?! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!

Mally: What magic is this?

Sarge: It's not magic. It's SCIENCE~!

Yont: I knew it all along.

*Redwolf comes in, sipping a can of sarsaparilla*

Redwolf: Glorious, comrades.

MakutaKlak: Indeed.

*Everyone watches the fireworks intently. A Bat-Signal is seen in the background, and Yont slips away. After the fireworks end, Ferret walks in, carrying a cat.*

Ferret: Guys, I found another cat.

-Back in the living room of the Toa's home-

Nidhiki: So then I said, "I Lhi-kan't believe it!"

*Nidhiki and Gali laugh out loud, while the others are simply bewildered*

Gali: You're so funny, Nidhiki.

Nidhiki: Thanks. I'm hungry.

Gali: I'd rather wait for that.

Nidhiki: I meant food, honey.

Gali: Oh, right.

*They all go to the kitchen, and serve the food.*

Tahu: Wait, why are Nadle and Hungry-man here?

Gali: Glad to see that you guys came!

Nadle: No, thank you for inviting us!

Tahu: I never invited them.

Onua: Yeah, thanks for coming, Hungry-man.

Hungry-man: Cor luvvly jubbly meels

Tahu: Seriously this doesn't make any sense.

Lewa: Pass the salt.

Nidhiki: So, Tahu, Gali tells me you like politics.

Tahu: Kinda.

Nidhiki: Who are you voting for in the coming election?

Tahu: Which one?

Nidhiki: Senate.

Tahu: Well, I'm a *THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN BLEEPED BY THE FCC FOR SOME REASON*

*Nadle splutters, and begins choking on his food*

*Lewa starts to help him*

Nidhiki: Oh, really? I'm a *THIS, TOO, HAS BEEN BLEEPED BY THE FCC FOR SOME REASON*

Tahu: Oh. Interesting.

*Everyone hears a searing sound on the table*

Nadle: Bloody hell. Anyway, how long have you two been together?

Gali: A month! And we're in love.

*Onua and Furno smile*

Nadle: I...I see.

*Dinner ends. Nidhiki, Nadle, and Full-Man (formerly Hungry-man) are getting ready to leave*

Nadle: Well, thank you, Tahu, that was quite delicious.

Tahu: My pleasure, Nadle. Thanks for coming, I guess?

*Nadle leaves*

Full-Man: Roc, I'm quite full m8.

Tahu: Y-you're welcome?

*He, too, leaves*

*Nidhiki walks up, smiles, and fist bumps Tahu*

Nidhiki: Glad to speak with you, man. So....what's your take on our relationship?

Tahu: You will take getting used to. But because of an off screen change of heart that occurred due to lazy writing, I will say that you are welcome to date Gali. As long as you don't hurt her in any way shape or form. Because if that happens....

Pohatu: We'll kill you!

Kopaka: Or make it look like an accident.

Furno: Or coax you into suicide.

Onua: Or all of the above.

*Gali rolls her eyes, and takes Nidhiki outside as he awkwardly waves goodbye*

Onua: We're the strangest family ever.

Furno: Yep.

Pohatu: Uh-huh.

Kopaka: Mhm.

Tahu: Yessir.

-What will happen next? Find out on the next episode. Happy April Fool's Day. The End.-

Klak wrote:Furno: No, that's devious and devilish, Kopaka! We have to strongly urge him to commit suicide.

This is my favourite part

Great chapter. I also loved the cameos, including Full-Man