Chapter 9: …Is not my friend.
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[Dekan]
The We’d Warriors all just saw the YONBOTs investigate the world for anime, and also free them from the time bubble they were stuck in, trying to fight Peacock and that witch. Of course, the YONBOTs took care of them, and now they were all waiting for the Cooperative Ship to pick them up. Wal Wal reached out to Boltman, the leader of the YONBOTs, “MAN OF LIGHTNING, HEAR ME ROAR!” Wal Wal then powered up, puffing out misty aura, then shouting “HUUUUUUUUUUUH.” Boltman was impressed by this display, who then stopped flying and went down to greet Wal Wal.
“You are a strong man. Tell me, do you wish to fight?”
Wal Wal extended his arm for greeting, which Boltman then grabbed his arm, and the two shared a manly, powerful handshake.
“No, Boltman, I wish to thank you for your help. Us We’d Warriors would’ve been able to defeat them, but you wiped them out with no effort,” Wal Wal was ecstatic about the meeting, the power surged from Boltman was quite a bit.
“No problem, I, Boltman, and the YONBOTs here, shall rid the universe of anime. Any help you could provide is fine. Just remember to summon us any time where anime is the problem, your faith is all that’s necessary.” Boltman then gave the We’d Warriors a thumbs-up, and then began flying away with all the YONBOTs, ready to go to their next planet.
During the whole ordeal, Old Man Ross sat there, lighting ablaze his 10 meter long pipe. He reminisced of his days as a We’d Warrior, a legendary tribe of his people who used herbs to power-up and gain insight in the world. The dozen with him were the last of his group, and he was unable to take on anymore disciples with the conflicts going on in their worlds.
“You know, we should’ve went with him, instead of being stuck on a planet where we’re hated, Ross,” said Wal Wal, in a stubborn manner.
“Then you should’ve went. I wouldn’t have stopped you. But, you know our people need us now.”
“Oh, really? Is that why we had to be exiled to this backwater world, from Rhadan?” Wal Wal was not pleased, and he wasn’t one to hide his feelings.
“Sinjon called us. He was raiding the palace today, with almost all the rebel forces.”
“WHAT?!” The group exclamated.
“We should be out there helping them, Ross,” commented Jean-Paul.
“Yeah, I agree!” said Wal Wal.
“Have no worries, everyone. A ship is coming to pick us up and take us there.”
“Oh? Just like how you say your arts will save our people, Ross?” Abit was angry, being stuck in a prison in exile, then being unable to help his family back at home. “This is ridiculous! For all we know, they lose today.”
“Or it will all end tonight, Abit,” stated Richard.
“We must have faith in our families, everyone.” Ross knew in the back of his mind though, for them to lose tonight, well…it would be the end of the rebellion. They would execute the families of the rebel members, or worse. The only thing they really had, was hope.
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[Rhadan]
Today on Rhadan, the rebels had won. Kek Kug, member of the rebel group, “The Tiger Youth,” had just killed Gaon Kug gruesomely. With two pieces of smoldering rebar sticking out of Gaon’s head, it was not a pretty site to see. The two others with Kek were Sinjon, leader of the rebels, and Dakk Dak, a cousin of Kek.
“Well that was simply wicked, br0Thas!” Dakk was quite ecstatic at the site of smeared brains on the ground, for some reason.
“It was the price to pay for our freedom, Dakk.” Sinjon, filled with such joy that he couldn’t show it, just kept a very neutral tone.
“Boyyoass how i had to kill my grandpa for some freedom,” responded Kek, who was still recovering his breath from the attack by Gaon.
“Now what the heck are going to do bros?” asked Dakk.
“We’re going to fix this state of affairs, of course,” replied Sinjon.
“Now,” interrupted Kek, “There’s still going to be loyalists around the palace. I don’t think we’re going to take them all out, are we?”
“You have no faith, Kek. We just killed the Emperor and are storming the palace. Why do you think we’ll lose now? It’s over, we have the high ground.”
“I don’t think you should be so sure, Sinjon.” Dakk was looking outside the palace, and saw Gaon’s Soldiers leaving the building, being ran out by Wol’s Rebels. The rebels were shooting down the escapees mercilessly. “Is this what you wanted Sinjon? A genocide crusade by us?”
“No…” Sinjon looked away and peaked back at the two. “We need to stop this.” Sinjon then broke up the window, firing a shot in-between the groups.
“Enough of this infighting brothers! Execution of them is not the way!”
“What does it matter, Sinjon?” exclaimed Woll Wol. “These men have raped our lands, taken our resources for themselves, and aligned themselves with their greatest enemy!”
“It does not mean you need to kill them all! Let them account for their crimes, not get a free pass in death!”
“What does it matter? Before we would kill them without hesitation!” yelled Wot.
“Before we hadn’t crippled their forces. Loyalists to Gaon, your king is dead! His corpse lays by me! Surrender now, or be killed with any resistance.” The loyalists outside were stunned. Some didn’t believe him, and raised arms to shoot at Sinjon for tyranny. Wong Wol and Wolol quickly executed the would-be resistance. The rest of the loyalists dropped their weapons, then got on their knees and raised their hands to be behind their heads.
“Nothing, we’ll do nothing! Just please don’t kill us!” begged one of the loyalists. He fell to the ground crying, and one of the Wol Rebels kicked him. Some of the rebels cringed as the kick connected, others let out a cheer. That was the world of war: misery.
Inside the palace, Dengdengdeng-deng Deng-dengdeng was throwing his classic grenade techniques to clear out rooms of guards so their troops could go in and secure them. Memme Meme used his weak psychic powers to detect the amount of people in the rooms. The Rosses’ were freeing prisoners of war in the dungeons, along with Fig Newton and Akot. Will Willson was defending the outside of the prisons with Konn Kon.
“You know, it’s quite amazing, Sinjon,” said Kek. “We finally did it. We’re finally The Tigers this world needed. Vicious when our territories have been claimed. Now, we can began a life of peace.”
“You think so simply, Kek. We’re going to have to set-up a makeshift government until the people can decided what to do. The Loyalists on this planet aren’t going to just give-up. The drug-dealers and fugglers aren’t going to just stop. We’re going to have to keep fighting, like we always do.”
“Don’t be so down in the dumps, br0Tha! We’ve killed the King! Our troops are pecking off all those loyalists! We’ve won! and you, my dear friend, are the king we need.”
“I refuse,” Sinjon said sternly. “I was made for war, not politics.”
“And yet you play them both so well, Sinjon,” replied Kek. “While I may be elected as successor by royalty if traditionalists so please, I definitely want you as my advisor. Together, we can reform this system of genetic lottery for one’s poverty.”
“Come on bros, let’s get goin’ to join the squads coming back!”
“Then what do we do with this corpse?” asked Sinjon.
“Pretty easy, man.” Dakk Dak then attempted to lift up Gaon’s blob of mass. He looked over a them. “A little help?” Kek and Sinjon helped picked him up, and they moved towards the window. Dakk then threw out the fat corpse to splatter on the grounds below, really defeating the Loyalist’s morales that saw.
“And now, it’s a new dawn, Sinjon.” The three looked at the first sun setting, with the cries of death in the background. Sinjon was not at ease for what they had done. He surely didn’t want to lead this nation either.
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[En Route to Vizima]
The Dong Squad and Wang Gang ship was leaving towards Vizima, after their long detour on Meme World. The two squads had finally left Meme World’s system. Zrintch had forwarded Vizima coordinates to both sets of Ayy-Lmalium pilots.
Zrintch then notified the ship’s commander, Aye, to call a meeting of everyone. She then said on com: “Everyone pls go 2 da meeting room 4 info
“ Eye was still grieving over the loss of the Dongers, who she became good friends with. For a ship’s commander to lose their crew, well, that can take an emotional toll.
The Dong Squad moved single file to the meeting room, already being experienced, with BONES leading the group. Everyone but Pumkin, that is, who never
really listens to anyone.
The Wang Gang on the other hand, were still quite chaotic. Despite the latter’s group experience with each other, they never took anything quite seriously. Hungry-man attempted to eat the fruit off The fresh prince of fresh fruit’s head, while Patrick Bateman was attempting to find repeating even objects in the area.
“whoa everywon we must get alonh noww.” TTT’s speech impediment was quite obvious, though it usually calmed everyone down but Hungry-man.
“you remind me of me mum TTT, always calmin’ everyone down…” Car Guard stated. Then again, a lot of things reminded him of ‘his mum,’ or ‘me pops,’ as he likes to say.
As the two groups entered the meeting room, with Aye in the center, and a couple of the Ayy-Lmaliums to the sides. Everyone took their seats, rustling around with their odd proportions. BONES stepped up to the center. Aye then nodded, and turned on the hologram. Zrintch then appeared.
“Hello everyone. Some of you may already know me as your employer. As for you new members of the team, welcome. I do not guarantee your safety, but a hefty sum of money will be given to your relatives or people of your choice. As said before, rest in peace, recently deceased members. Without their sacrifice, we would have unable to get The Mask.”
“Oi u fokin tellin’ me we gonna die? i aint have had all the tasty chow in the universe yet, matey…”
“While normally I would say ‘yes,’ this next mission is not so suicidal. Infact, I request none of you to kill the people we are stealing from.”
“Oh, and who would that be?” questioned BONES.
“The Knights of the Keruvim.”
Most of the squad were confused. After all, such a secretive organization isn’t well-known, especially to a group of outsiders who lived on the Stouttish Islands. A few, however, gasped. BONES, Jesse Ventura, and Merasmus. The Shell-Shocked Cat, as always, was shocked, even if he didn’t know who they were. He began having war flashbacks again, of when he fought Tratus, beating his retarded ass into the ground with a jelly dolphin. Ainsley began petting him so he would take it easy.
“So…what do you want with Keruvim, Zrintch?” asked BONES.
“To divulge such information, would be treason on my part. Let me put it this way: It will stop all of us from being erased from existence. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”
“like ye fockin care you fuckin grinch looking fucker” Hungry-man, as always, was disgruntled about the lack of information. One too many times has withholding info screwed him over.
“I am very hungry,” Pumkin then stared at the jelly dolphin the Shell-Shocked Cat had.
“Shot ur fockin yap yah stooped pumpkin, ill be eatin’ ya in no tiem.”
“No! I don’t want that.”
“Enough!” shouted Jesse Ventura. “I don’t want all of time to erase us, and you two bickering isn’t helping us prevent it, is it?!”
“As Ventura said, shut it,” BONES replied. Pumkin only kept the same happy smirk he normally has on his face, creeping everyone out. “So how are we going to get to where the Keruvim is at, Zrintch?”
“Simple, really. The Wang Gang is going to disengage their ship as you’re detected, and blast straight towards the planet of Vizima. The Dongers will distract The Knights by flying around, or even launching your space-adept members out of the chutes to distract them.”
“Ok,” replied Saitama, in his usual, deadpan, emotionless voice.
“The Knights of the Keruvim are a very large and secretive organization, and many of it’s members could easily destroy this whole team, sans a few specific members.”
“That’s it, huh? That’s our master plan to fight a giant organization that’s infiltrated large portions of the galaxy, with hidden members, on a planet that isn’t in most star bases?” BONES pondered why Zrintch would ask them to do this, yet not kill any of the members.
“Well, The Mask overrides any powers they have. The real question is who is going to use it.”
“If I do say so myself, I’d be a great fit,” Bateman smirked while saying it, then made a giggle after the statement.
“Yeah, allow the crazy sociopath to get The Mask. Works every time,” mentioned Bill Willson.
“Have a little positivity, Willson! Not every day does a man like me get to do something good for the universe!”
“Well,” interrupted Zrintch,”Whoever you decide, is none of my business. This meeting is over. You should be in Vizima’s system soon. The advanced tech of that ship should allow no sensors to be triggered.” The hologram then turned off, and BONES turned around to speak to the crew.
“Well, this is odd. But we’re going to have to do what he says. No killing these guys, and we need to get the Keruvim ASAP. Once word gets out they’re getting attacked, who knows who they’ll call in.”
“I agree Skelly Bones,” replied Ventura, “But we’re going to need a better plan.”
“Then what do you propose?”
Jesse Ventura let out a chuckle, and then brought up a map on the hologram screen.
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[Zrintch’s Ship]
As the hologram turned off, Zrintch sighed. He was, intact, quite worried for his associates. If they were to be caught by the Knights, it would cause an intergalactic incident on the interventionism of The Cooperative. While he could deny involvement, somebody in that organization would trace it back to him.
His ship was now entering the toxic atmosphere of Dekan. The musk of the planet was quite obvious, the planet being a greenhouse one, made it quite hard to breathe for atmosphere. Luckily, Zrintch was trained in some old arts to prevent such nuisances.
Zrintch used his powers to find the We’d Warriors in the foggy mist of the swamps, eschewing the scanners of his ship. He closed his eyes, pulsating with a red aura, then emitting it across the area. Down below, the We’d Warriors felt the power. Old Man Ross recognized it.
This power…it can’t be. It’s been hundreds of years. This disturbance…“Ross, what was that…that power?” question Wal Wal.
“An old, dark power. One I thought I got rid of years ago.”
Above the group was Zrintch’s ship, a jagged-sphere, designed to resemble a comet, or space junk, and could alter the colors to look like other space debris with depth manipulation. The ship began expelling smoke as the landing gear came out. The ship slowed it’s descent dramatically to allow for safe landing in the mushy marshlands.
“So this is our ride, huh?” asked Adit.
“Yes, I think it is,” replied Ross.
The ship opened up with long, skinny panel first off, lowering from top to bottom, vertically. Out stepped Zrintch, clad in his signature black robes, hood over head.
“You said a scout ship was coming, not yourself, Lord Zrintch,” stated Ross.
“There’s been a change of plans,” Zrintch tilted his head towards the rest of the We’d Warriors. “I’m going to need your help. You’re not going to Rhadan anymore.”
The group gasped simultaneously, like it was in sync. Ross expressed their dissatisfaction in words: “What the hell?! You promised me!”
“You need not worry about the warlords. The Tiger Youth have killed Gaon and have now taken over the palace. They are setting up a temporary leadership right now as we speak.”
“How can I trust you?!” Ross questioned Zrintch.
Wal Wal then put his hand on Ross’ shoulder. “Like you said…we only have hope. Let us believe in this.”
Ross lowered his guard. “Yes, I guess you are right Wal Wal. So tell me Zrintch, where are we going?”
“I am hiring all of you as guards. There will soon be a Cooperative Meeting on an important target, and I wish for you to guard the meeting place,” said Zrintch, in his low, raspy voice.
“And why would you want us?” questioned Jean-Paul.
“I have faith in your magic for protecting us, not the technology we normally use.”
“Then I agree,” replied Jean-Paul.
“As do I,” said Wal Wal
“same thooooooo,” said Abit
“they fear what they don’t know n hate what they do,” said Wol. He is really not a good philosopher, but he likes to think it is.
“And you, Ross?” asked Zrintch.
“I agree,” responded Ross. “On one condition: You take us to Rhadan after this.” Ross blew a puff of smoke from his nostrils, which Zrintch then flicked away with his hands.
’Then it’s agreed. We should get going now.” Zrintch motioned the dozen We’d Warriors to the ship. He pressed a button that opened up more platforms to the sphere ship. Each warrior got into a slot of the sphere, like vertically rising beds to lay-in.
“You know, I didn’t expect we’d leave in something likes this,” stated Wal Wal
“Yeah, well, everyone’s a critic,” replied Jean-Paul.
The hatch/walkways then closed on all of them. Zrintch then climbed into the center he exited from, and the door shut behind him. He entered the location of The Cooperative meeting place, and the ship’s rockets came out of the ship, and began rising. The landing gear retracted, and the spherical scouting ship took off at a surprisingly fast speed. Before they knew it, it had already left the planet’s orbit. In a matter of minutes, it left the solar system.
Not all was what it seemed though. In the mists by the landing site, out walked a giant purple-red shaped form. It was Flesh-Eater, and it’s hand, it was holding a device blink red. In another of its hands, was the head of another warlord from the planet.
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The Dongers and Wangers were waiting in their rooms for the orders. Their ship was now entering the system of Vizima. Aye announced on comms: “We are now in the system of Vizima. Everyone get to their stations to man turrets.” Bones then took the comm, “Wang Gang, get to your ship. Dong Squad, take turret placements. Pumkin and Saitama, get to the hangar.” All the strike team hurried to their stations. Jesse Ventura and Ross Mandell took the leading turrets of the front.
“Can the Bad Boy of Wall Street really beat the world’s best conspiracy theorist?” remarked Ventura
“Don’t get so full of yourself, pro-wrestler, stock trading isn’t just clicking buttons on the computer.” Mandell smirked, and the two got into their turret positions, back to back.
Pumkin and Saitama moved to the Hangar, waiting for the signal. The plan was for the two to drop into space after The Wang Gang’s ship disengaged, with Pumkin to slap it towards Vizima, and Saitama to provide support.
The two entered the Hangar, where Bones was at. “Now, you two are ready for this, right?” questioned Bones.
“I’m very hungry,” commented Pumkin.
“Can you ever say anything else?” questioned Saitama
“No!”
“Oh, by the way Bones, you know I can’t breathe in space, right?”
“What?!” shouted Bones. “I figured with your power level, you could.”
“Well, I’m still just a human.”
Bones sighed. He then picked up his communicator, requesting a space suit to be made ASAP by the Maker the Ayy-Lmaliums had. Two of the little green alien men entered the one with measuring tapes, and began measuring Saitama.
“Oh, remember, I’d like my belt a little loose around the waist, please.” One of the aliens huffed as a remark. “You know, you’re rude for being so small.” The alien blew hot air out, and the other laughed. Pumkin then stared over at them, and the two became worried and hurried up. The two then skimmed out of the room like CGI from 2000.
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Meanwhile, on Vizima, a Toa of Ice was laying back in a chair, watching the newest Spacehoops game, while eating a McRide
from McYonalds
. He was positioned in the guard room to detect any objects moving in the system. A beep then went off. The Toa then looked to the radar and gasped. He dropped his McRide
burger on the ground and picked up the phone to call the Headquarters.
“Whoa, guys, something’s coming in the system!”
The Toa on the other line then replied. “Yeah? Just like last week huh? Let me guess: Dese Nuts.”
“No, I’m serious!” yelled the Toa of Ice.
“Yeah, whatever. You want me to notify Axalara? She’s here, after all.”
“The object is moving fast, and heading straight for us!”
“Then why didn’t you call the space station?! You idiot!”
“Alright, fine! Notify everyone, and I’ll call the space station.”
“This better not be a joke, Ike, I swear to-“
The Toa of Ice, aptly named named Ike, hung up the phone. He immediately called Space Station Alpha.
“Yes, Ike? Another joke?”
“No, just look at the radars! Mine’s going crazy!” Ike pulled up a hologram of the area from his radar to examine the rapidly speeding object, heading directly to the planet.
The space man then looked at his radar. “I don’t see anything.”
“Switch to the telescopic imagery!”
“You know, I really wish sometimes you never got placed where you are, Ike.” The Toa of Magnetism rolled over in his chair to one set of monitors, displaying the real-time imagery of an area. “Can you give me the location, Ike?”
“It’s moving straight towards beta sector.”
The Toa of Magnetism checked the footage of the linear path to beta sector. “What the?” Low and behold, the satirical wang-shaped dragonfly ship was moving straight towards it. The Toa instantly turned on all alarms.
“And you thought I was lying. Heck you.” Ike smashed the communicator button so proudly, then sat down to keep watching Spacehoops.
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Axalara stormed into the Headquarters. “How could this happen? This ship is getting close enough to break orbit and enter atmosphere! Where are the space guards? What are they doing?”
“Well, Ma’am, only one of our guards stationed on planet, Ike, noticed the object. It’s somehow evaded sensors.”
“Notify all stations to send out their space troops immediately! We can’t let this ship get near the Keruvim!”
“And you, Axalara?”
“I’m going to greet that ship myself.”
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Back on the merged ship, on the bridge the Ayy-Lmaliums were laughing. “It seems they fell for our trick, Aye.”
“Yes, it seems they have. You’d think they’d notice it’s a fake. Now keep moving, we’ll flank their forces if they all go for our fake.”
Meanwhile, in the Hangar, Saitama got a classic astronaut suit to wear, but not as baggy, more agile, and instead it was black. He was thinking to himself after putting it on;
“Man, I really need a symbol one of these days.” He sighed, but then stood at the hangar doors, waiting for the order.
All the Dongers placed in the turrets were getting bored. They turned on comms to start talking.
“You ever had a threesome, Ainsley?” asked Billy Mays
“Yeah, a real spicy one. Smothered with bodies.”
“Oh yeah, with who?”
“My wife, and Morgan Freeman.”
“Oh.”
The comms were then turned off.
In the Wang Gang Ship, they were all waiting in the drop hangar until they were launched. They would then have to jump off in spaghetti shoots. They were like parachutes, but made out of noodles and italian food, and they could be put under you for a soft landing. Sometimes, one must really question the work of aliens aesthetically, but not mechanically.
Bill Willson broke the silence. He remembered the day when he lost it all, in a plane crash, and the man who did it all. “You know, being in this loading reminds me of how I got here in the first place. It all took place the day I tried tracking down a man known as ‘Bane.’ I was working for the C.I.A, and me and my men had just got on a plane. Little did I know I had just played into Bane’s hands. A Mosquito Man had just given me and my agents 3 masked men, who they said worked for Bane. However, it turns out, Bane was one of these men.”
“oh than what did he you do?” asked TTT.
“He brought his own plane to crash mine. His men shot all my men through the windows, and they then ripped off the plane wings. They took the man we just Asved, Dr. Pavel, for their own plots. Bane left one of his own men behind to trick the people who found the wreckage, and mumbled something about “raising the fire.” Honestly, most of the statements to this day don’t make much sense.”
“But you lived from a crashed plane? Damn son!” questioned The Cataractor.
“Aye. After crawling out of the wreckage, I knew my only goal in life would be to end the man who killed me, my friends, and everything I lived for. I equipped myself with cybernetics, and disguised myself as a Manhunter. It all happened one day…”
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[Earth, Months Ago]
In the mountains of an unknown region, Bane had just defeated an unknown assailant who had tried to kill him, along with his two partners, Amy and Nikolai. The man was supposedly a “Manhunter,” an intergalactic group of law enforcement, precursor to the Lantern Corps.
Just moments ago, the man blocked off himself from Bane and his group by landing boulders between them. The Manhunter proceeded to activate rockets to begin flying out of here. He lifted his arm and clicked a panel on his forearm, and rockets opened up from his feet.
Before they got activated, a bullet was shot into one of them.
What the? the Manhunter thought. He turned around and saw an injured man, wearing a red poncho. His face was bloodied, his right arm was broken, and his left arm was messing. Static electricity emitted from the remains of the light arm, implying cybernetics. The man had ragged, nappy black hair, along with brown eyes, and heavy black stubble.
“And here I was thinking you were already dead,” said the Manhunter.
The man had a USP Compact from which he shot the Manhunter’s rocket. “Don’t count a man dead after shooting him and throwing him off a mountain!” The man began firing shots at The Manhunter, with no effect it appeared.
“W-what the heck?” The Manhunter was surprised. He looked down, and saw multiple bullet wounds. A hook had gone to his neck. “How?”
“It’s simple, my shots deflected off you at an angle, which then bounced back to hit you in a different spot. However, I made sure the shots repeated in the same areas to break the armor. While you were distracted, I activated a trap that shot a grappling hook towards you.” The man smirked. “The name is Bill Willson, and never interfere with Bane again, he is my target.”
“It is my duty. No man escapes the Manh-“ Willson then dropped his USP compact and pulled out a bomb trigger, which he then pressed.
”No way! He actually did it!” Several simultaneous explosions around the mountain range began exploding. Bill Willson then fell over the mountain and saluted the Manhunter. The Manhunter was still in shock, and with the hook trapping him and destroyed rockets, he was stuck. What was once a robot, was no scrap metal after a few seconds.
”And hopefully…Bane died too,” thought Bill Willson, as he was falling to his death off the mountains. But we both know that didn’t happen…to either of them.
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“oi what a crock of shiet m8,” said Hungry-man, in response to Bill Willson’s backstory.
“wow how imprissibe not like you hungri-man” responded a shocked TTT.
“ye fockin wot m8, ya know ill knock ur little ass here ‘nd now,” Hungry-man put his hands up for a good sockin’, but TTT only said ‘how ruude you are, we are here to save the universe just like my late cousin toa moe vehicluars wood do”
“You kids and your bickering. Now, we got a mineral to steal” stated The Cataractor.
“Man, I wish I was back at home, watching TV.” Car Guard was quite sad at the events that led up to this point in his life. Infact, nobody even cared what his real name was. He was forever “Car Guard,” ever since that Incident at Supermax.
——————
The space troopers were deployed to get the ship that was rapidly approaching the orbit of Vizima. Several Toa used their powers to rapidly boost to the ship. A Toa of Magnetism created a magnetic field to start dragging the ship back, but to no avail. A Toa of Plasma started incinerating the ship’s engine. Some Toa of Earth and Stone started slagging space rocks at it. A human with telekinesis tried it’s best to pull the ship back, and it did slow it down.
“Where’s a Toa of Metal?! Surely he could strip this ship apart!”
“I don’t know!”
“Wait, this isn’t a ship! It’s a rock crafted as one!” The Toas of Earth began slowing it down with their powers. How odd it
was, that they didn’t noticed this sooner. Things that make you go hmmm…
The Toa then all surrounded the ship. “We should be careful, it could be a bomb.”
“No, the inside is hollow,” replied a Toa of Stone.
The Toa of Plasma created a giant plasma blade to slice it open. A Toa of Air sealed off the exit with a Hau, mask of shielding. The Toa of Plasma went into the hollowed out rock, finding nothing with his illuminated blade. “I’m not finding anything, guys.”
Suddenly, a rock shot out towards him. He turned and sliced the rock, and saw a bald man staring at him, wearing a black astronaut suit. He immediately went to slice him in half with the sword, but Saitama stopped it with his hand.
“Wait up. I need to get these rocks off.” Saitama began picking rocks off his clothes.
“Who the hell are you?!”
“Oh. Hi, I’m One Punch Man.”
“What kind of stupid name is that?”
“Can you speak up? It’s hard to hear in this suit.” He kept picking rocks off his suit. The Toa of Plasma then went in for another slice, but Saitama just raised his fist and knocked him out of the rock. The Toa out in space were shocked, eyes wide open at how this guy instantly knocked him out. Saitama then crawled out of the rock to see everyone.
“That guy was just really rude. No patience for me to get cleaned up.”
Who…who the hell is this guy? thought the group. A Toa of Stone went in to punch him with a stone-fist, but Saitama just raised his fast and instantly destroy his Toa Tool, with the Toa falling into Saitama’s Fist, making him fly backwards.
“Put him on blast!” The Toa began shooting large amounts of elements at Saitama. After the dust faded, they noticed he stood there with no damage.
“How are we going to defeat this guy?!”
“A Toa Seal is our only option.”
“HEY!” shouted Saitama “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?!”
“This guy…has a lot of nerve…” Six of the Toa got together to began the seal. The six elements combined, and they created a giant protodermis-like beam to shoot at him. They were relieved, thinking they caught him. But suddenly, he was behind them, and poked one of them on the back.
“Oh, was that your ultimate attack? I guess I should’ve stayed there to take it.”
“What the?!” The group of Toa turned around and began charging attacks. Saitama then used a slightly stronger move of his: Rapid light taps. He instantly knocked out the whole squad. The rest didn’t really want to attack him, but went in anyways. They were all defeated in a matter of seconds. “How boring, you’d think after the speech Zrintch gave, they’d be more powerful.”
In the distance, Axalara was racing with her air powers to get to the man. Her communications came on. “Axalara, be careful! He just took out all of the space guards without a scratch!”
“Send in more reinforcements, I’m sure we could get this guy.”
Back at the ship, Aye took notice of Saitama’s power. She was quite surprised, never seeing it fully before. Their ship was nearing the orbit, in which they’d surely get noticed by sensors. “ETA 5 minutes, everyone. Wang Gang, you’ll be disengaged and shot to the forest where we think the Keruvim is at.”
“Copy that,” responded Bill Willson.
Saitama was getting quite bored staying on the rock. Unfortunately, since he can’t actually fly, he’s stuck there, or else he’ll start drifting around unless there’s other things to jump on. Then, before he knew it, Axalara arrived, and used a giant slice of air to cut the fake ship into half. Saitama had just moved out of the path of the slice because he was looking at a shiny rock he had found.
This guy really doesn’t care, does he? thought Axalara. Saitama then started falling over as the ship was moving from being split in half. He turned around and saw Axalara floating in space.
“Oh, you must be the leader. Nice to meet you.”
“How arrogant are you?! Whoever you are, tell me why you’re here!”
“Well, I’m here to distract you from that.”
“From what?”
He pointed towards the Dongers’ ship, which had just hit orbit and it’s cloaking turned off from the Knight’s own technology. Axalara’s communications then turned on. “Axalara, a ship just entered orbit!”
“Yeah, I know! Pull all troops back!’
“Hey, flying lady.”
“What?!”
“Sorry we can’t fight seriously today.”
“What are you talking about?” Next thing she knew, Saitama defeated Axalara with his signature “one punch,” knocking her mask off.
“Man, if only I got her before she called back the troops,” said Saitama, out loud. He then jumped off Axalara’s body to go straight to Vizima.
——————
At the ship, Aye just noticed alarms went off and disabled their camp. “Disengage Wang Gang ship now!” The Wanger’s ship disconnected from the main ship, and Pumkin was released from the hangar. As he descended, he slapped the Wanger’s ship rapidly into the forest. “No! I don’t want that!”
The Wangers started feeling the gravity of the slap. They were moving so fast, The Cataractor and Car Guard got knocked out, the two being only normal humans.
“wow what a wild ride” stated TTT. He raised his hand to give a thumbs up. “just like a carnivel ride”
“what da fok iz wrong wit u m8? i feel like i’m ‘bout to vomit me guts up.”
“lol” was all TTT had to say.
Over the intercom, the pilot had an announcement. “It seems we are unable to slow down. Infact, it’s very likely we’re going to crash.”
“With no survivors?!” shouted Bill Willson.
“No, I’m actually pretty sure we’ll all be fine, just the ship will be wrecked,” replied the Ayy-Lmalium, calmly.
“Man, it feels like I’m going to-“ BLUH! The guy who was engulfed in milk vomitted milk all over Car Guard, which then awoke him.
“This is disgusting, what is this, warm milk?”
“Yes,” replied TGWWEIM.
“Ooh, gross. Glad he didn’t get any on my suit, or else this would get a
little bloody.” said Bateman.
“We are approaching the drop zone in 3 minutes. Get your spaghetti shoots ready for deployment. Don’t worry, they’ll protect you from the rapid change in atmosphere and speed as if it were nothing. It just might feel like you’re in a bowl of pasta.” said the pilot.
“mmm..pasta. im so blood hungry right now, i could go for some good n proper spaghetti. dese there shoots, they edible?”
“Yes.”
“You know, my mom used to make spaghetti back home. It was pretty good,” the Car Guard stated sadly.
“No one bloody asked ya, did they?”
“Sorry.”
The announcement came on again. “ETA 1 minute.” The Wang Gang all looked at each other. TTT was quite happy, which inspired everyone. Unfortunately for all of them, The Cataractor was still knocked out. Infact, he looked somewhat peaceful.
The bottom hatch of the hangar, the floor, then opened up. One by one, they were all dropped. The Cataractor finally woke up, and was quite scared of where the hell he was going. “I was sleeping, you rascals!” As he was blind, he didn’t know where to pull for his spaghetti shoot either. Everyone else activated their shoots already. Car Guard began shouting at The Cataractor.
“Cataractor!”
“What the hell do you want?!”
“You gotta open your shoot!”
“YOUR SHOOT!”
“MY WHAT?!”
“YOUR PARACHUTE.”
“WHERE THE HELL IS THE STRING?!”
“IT’S UNDER YOUR LEFT HAND!’ Cataractor lowered his right hand trying to grab it. “NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!” So Cataractor then lifted his right hand to above him. Car Guard sighed. “YOUR RIGHT!” Cataractor then lowered his left hand and pulled the noodle. A giant noodle-tied cloak came out, which lowered his speed dramatically.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SO?”
Car Guard ignored him and looked at the landscape of the nearby forest. It was raining out, making their noodles somewhat mushy, which was fine but just would make the landing far more gross.
——————
Back at the Knights’ H.Q, they were trying to send out all available ground forces to the Keruvim location. While they had tons of their best guards stationed there, if these people were anything like the man out in space, they would need far more troops. The Knights redirected all their space troops to deal with the ship that was sitting in the Exosphere of Vizima, and along with that, began firing ground cannons and deploying ships to attack it.
Komerak, a Platinum Lantern, and honorary Knight, was hanging around base that day. “Where should I go?”
“Go to the forest. I think our forces can take care of the spaceship floating around. Whatever they sent possible sent there, well, I don’t think the guards could contain it if it’s even on the power level of that guy in space.”
“Agreed, I’ll be leaving now.” The signature platinum aura of his corps surrounded his body, and he flew off to the forest.
——————
On the Donger ships, the Dongers were having a lot of fun blasting away at the flying Knights that had come to get them. Anyone that got too close felt the wrath of Pumkin’s backhand. He was really tempted to eat them, but I guess he had some loyalty to the group. His repetitive, echoing shouts of “No!” was getting annoying to the Ayy-Lmaliums.
Soldier was blasting away at some of them. He then realized where the rocket button was. His only comment after he starting firing them was: “SPECIAL
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
The A’s corresponding with explosions in the sky, of course. The Soldier was not a merciful one.
Merasmus just sighed. He really would prefer eschewing these guns for some dark arts. Randolph, on the other hand, was quite enjoying the usage of guns. I guess that’s what happens when you’re a delusional psychopath, thinking you can defeat anyone, and finally can.
No Image Guy integrated with the weapon system to get the most accurate and best shots, to make sure not to kill the Knights. His power also helped the rest of the weapon systems. Before the Dongers knew it, star fighters started closing in on them, trying to out maneuver the weapons and disable the Donger’s ship. They were no match for the spaghetti beams with No Image Guy’s improvements, not to mention a Maker on the ship. Basically, the star ships were fucked.
Meanwhile, by the forest, The Wang Gang had all landed. The Spaghetti Shoots ensured a safe landing by using Rotini Twist technology to turn the Farfalle Feathered Parachutes, connected by the linguine stringy, into rigatoni strings and a conchiglie chilly shell to land in. The Eight Wangs stepped out of the shells and looked around. Suspiciously, it seemed there was no guards around in the rainy forests. There was also a light mist in the undertows of the forest, limiting their field-of-view.
“Bruvs, im bloody starving, now allow me to munch on dis here nice pasta grub…”
“Aren’t you supposed to be leader?” questioned Bill.
“Wotever ya fock, ur leader now. think of some shit. dis here grub about 2 be scrub-a-dub-dubbed by me.”
"Oh, Eight Shells, eight divided by two is four, 2 fours. Oh, nice, impressive Hungry-man. Dubs on your food. Clever." Patrick Bateman then winked and gave a thumbs-up to Hungry-man, who ignored him, indulging in his gluttony.
“You fat no chin chump, why are you even in charge?” asked Car Guard.
“You know, I for one think Mr. Willson here is a much better candidate for leadership,” replied Bateman.
“i for one think it should be me the powarfull spirit of light” TTT was quite happy, as usual.
“Enough! We need to get going and find this so called “Ker-u-vim” and get out of here! There’s thousands of those Knights here, you know,” Car Guard was worried. A man like him had no chance at defeating even one of them. Why, oh why, was life so cruel to him?
“Yeah, let’s get the heck out of here and skedaddle before they notice us,” said The fresh prince of fresh fruit.
“Too late,” state TGWWEIM. The rain around them started moving, and vines imploded from the ground to grab their feet.
“Fock, and durin’ me grub gettin’!” Hungry-man jumped out of the way of the vines, which quickly consumed the shells of the spaghetti shoots. A vine gripped his leg, and he used his giant mouth to rip it open. As he lifted his head up, a tentacle of water slammed him in the face, knocking him over for the vines to get him.
[TO BE EDITED LATER]––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
[The Void]
The Heckumvirate was getting slapped around like nothing by Stardust. His stoic expression stayed the same, but deep down, he was angered by the events he saw. His allegiance was to the Stardust Crusaders, a faction of his people who were universal peacekeepers, created long before The Lantern Corps, Manhunters, or Time Guardians. For him to see the chaos being caused, yet his fixture on the Hecker Brothers occupied him, upset him.
“Heh…” whispered The Heckumvirate, “Nothin personnel, but you will always give a heck.”
Stardust was angered, and attempted to use molecule rays to dismember The Heckumvirate to molecules. The rays bounced off and reduced the surrounding areas into molecules. The assembled together smiley shrugged, and got up off the ground that wasn’t technically there.
“Embrace the hecks, Stardust, and do your job,” stated The Heckumvirate.
“NO! YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FIRST, HECK BROTHERS,” Stardust bellowed his statement, that echoed in the void of their location. As if it was thunder, with a lagging-behind sound after the statement.
“No matter.” The marbled smiley of red and yellow, with a golden glowing aura, launched an orb from its hand. The orb showed the Battle of Saskana, where Mazkertis arrived and fought several beings. The orb began to expand and encompass Stardust. Stardust raised his arm in an unnatural, robotic matter, emitting an anti-teleportation ray, but it had no effect. The Heckumvirate gave Stardust a thumbs-up, before the orb started squishing Stardust.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” Stardust screamed as the orb started to compact his body. The Heckumvirate shrugged, and before Stardust knew it, he was nothing more than a mush of plasma. The orb disappeared with the remains of Stardust in it. The Heckumvirate did it’s job, and now walked off into the void in the area they were fighting in.
——————
Stardust’s remains ended up in the core of a Red Supergiant star. His species were living stars in a way - made out of plasma, before they mastered, what translates as “Super-Science,”- the ability to alter the laws of physics with the manipulation of matter from stars, of which everything in the universe was made out of. Simply put, it was altering the product of stardust matter to anything they wanted. Explained like a science, but was really nothing more than magic to most.
This Red Supergiant Star, was the home of Stardust’s race of people and where he was born. Whenever one of their beings died, they magically ended up back into the core of their star, for their remains to be recycled and used to create more. The memories of the being was stored in the library inside the star, so they could be consulted again. Immortality, basically.
The Stardust Crusaders all arrived back to the star in a matter of microseconds, after the report of the death of one of them. Hundreds arrived, all shifting back into their five-pointed star forms, instead of their god-like morphed forms that resemble the species they’re governing at the time.
One of the Crusaders stepped up, and looked at the amorphous blob of plasma that remained of Stardust. The being lifted the remains of Stardust and tossed it into the core, the plasma being eaten by the planet. The superheated matter was consumed by the world, and out echoed the waves of Stardust’s mind.
“ALLIES OF JUSTICE, I HAVE BUT ONE GOAL-“ bellowed the electromagnetic radiation emitted by his remains, to which the others could process it as words. One of the crusaders responded: “TO FIND THE MAN WHO KILLED YOU?”
“NO, TO END THE MAN WHO THREATENS TO END THE UNIVERSE!” A jump in the wavelengths was noted for his exclamation.
“W
H
O
?”
“M A Z K E R T I S”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
In the far reaches of space, in a location that has no specifications, was the meeting room for The Cooperative, located on a spaceship. While The Cooperative were anarchists, volunteers from all of the member species came to discuss issues, most lying with problems outside their territories. Today, a meeting was called for a group petitioning to join. Because The Cooperative has the powerful technology of “Makers;” devices that were able to create anything be rearranging atoms, they had to be careful with who was able to use it.
Today’s pending group: Space India, led by Indian President, who’s real name was never made public to outside groups. The president was somewhat short, around 5’5” or 165 cm tall, brown skin, and short black hair that drooped down, and not short enough to be a buzz cut. He had somewhat large lips, which many say are due to his amazing speech abilities(though we all know it’s from the genetic lottery, right?).
He had come alone to the meeting, even forsaking guards, with no fear. He stepped onto a platform lift that floated him up into a room full of thousands of species, all very bizarre. There was plant people, Trilagons, masses of tentacles, giant floating, gas-giant originated mushroom blobs, giant plasma blobs, microscopic magnetic-based shaving species, and god knows what else. To the President of Space India, this was nothing to him.
He stepped up to the intercom, which was a translation device for all the bizarre species that couldn’t communicate.
“Hello everyone if you are listening, last time I showed you the Top 20 reasons why Space India should join, well this time I’m going to list the Top 10 reasons why we should NOT join.”
The audience was shocked. Why would his argument be to list reasons why his nation SHOULDN’T join? Only one word could describe this situation: Insanity.
“Numbahr Ten…” Before he could speak his reason, the room was covered by a flash of light. Suddenly, five Stardust Crusaders appeared in the room. All are clad in dulled, garish-colored(such as teal and purple, or orange and pink) outfits with strange geometrical patterns in random spots (such as spots or repeating rhombuses).
“YOU ARE ALL NOW IN THE POWER OF STARDUST,” shouted the five beings, in their voices which always seem to echo.
The Cooperative volunteers began to ready their weapons, and sounded the alarm. The indian president was knocked over with the arrival of the crusaders, and was thoroughly pissed. He got up and started yelling at one of the crusaders: “fuk u u fatass ugle sonofabitch ur face is so defaormed nd ur color make me blind.”
“ENOUGH!” One of the crusaders raised his arm and shot a bolt of lightning at the man, silencing him with his ‘ray of silence.’ The president continued swearing under breath, since he could no longer be heard.
“WE DO NOT COME LOOKING FOR TROUBLE COOPERATIVE!” The teal-and-purple crusader then covered the room in a yellow ray, which disabled all weapons. Another shot a ray that turned off the alarms.
Zrintch was in the meeting too, and he raised his communicator to notify the We’d Warriors of an emergency. Zrintch continued watching the crusaders. The crusaders announced their next statement, “THE MAN CALLED MAZKERTIS WISHES TO DESTROY THE TIMELINE OF THE UNIVERSE. WE COME HERE ASKING FOR HELP OF THE COOPERATIVE, A GROUP WITH NO ALLEGIANCES. THE LANTERNS AND GUARDIANS CANNOT BOTHER US HERE, AND NEITHER CAN OTHER GROUPS. WE WISH FOR YOUR COOPERATION WITH OUR MOTIVES.”
Zrintch then turned off the alarm. He maneuvered through the aisles to get towards the front. One of the beings noticed him, “YOU, COME FORTH.” The star being teleported Zrintch to be in front of them in the middle of the meeting room, on the floating platform.
Zrintch stood forth proud in front of the group, with no fear. He spoke in the commanding tone as he did to his soldiers, “Our goals align. Just as we speak, I have two groups working for me gathering items to help with the defeat of Mazkertis. The Cooperative knows of his goals, and wishes to stop him.”
“THEN, YOU SHALL WORK WITH US?” questioned one of the star-beings, in a still loud and monotonous voice.
“Yes. Come with me.” Zrintch then turned on the platform to start lowering. Space India’s president was not on the platform though, and is now stuck up there. He was not pleased. The ray of silence was still on him too, so the only thing he could do is stomp up and down to express his anger.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
[Saskana]
Nif, after being briefed by Full Frontal on the Mazkertis situation, decided to find a way to leave the planet to find Mazkertis himself. After all, this universe he ended up in seemed like some cross of original content and stolen copyrighted media of his home universe. How strange it was, to meet an alternate version of a man from his home universe.
”That mother fucker…” he thought to himself.
”Why is here? How? Then again, it could just be an alternate version, but he has similar powers…”As Nif walked along the abandoned city in wake of Mazkertis’ attack, he looked around for any spaceships he could steal. After seeing what was basically the equivalent of a Gundam character in this universe, he figured that spaceship controls would be relatively easy to learn.
He spotted some junky knock-off of a Final Fantasy vehicle crossed with space opera aesthetics. It also had floating crystals on it, most likely as some tubing system for the power. Nif began using his multi-tentacles to try and find an opening to the ship. Just as a platform lowered for him to get in, a blue light enveloped around him. He felt this feeling before, when he was trying to integrate with the biome of Saskana.
”Huh.”––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
On the bottom of the Saskana Ocean, there lied a palace made of crystal. The crystals were reinforced ice crystals, to withstand the depths of the ocean. They were a light faded blue-white, akin to the color of glaciers, but translucent instead. The palace had no real fitting geometry of it, or style. Just a big ice house, so to say.
The location of the palace was affixed in “The Twilight Zone,” of the ocean, right before all light fades out in the bottom. The minuscule amount of light gave the palace a blue, otherworldly shine, akin to twilight time on the surface of snow, making it all blue. The palace was affixed to the side of an underwater cliff.
Inside the structure were several rooms that made no real sense. A library, a hot springs room, a kitchen which also contained the dining room next to it, an internal aquarium, and then a main room for the inhabitant. The lighting was from bioluminescent plankton on the outside of the ocean, and also lived in the cracks of the crystals, swimming through a current of water that circled the whole structure.
The blue light then appeared in the library, opening up, with Nif appearing in the center as the light faded. He looked around, his sense noting he was now back in the ocean of Saskana. Above him was the transparent ceiling, and he observed the lifeforms move around. The small amount of light that pierced this area of the ocean made most of the life fluorescent, to it appeared as if stars were moving around in the ocean.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” The man who muttered the question was sitting in the chair of the library, and had just put down the book he was reading. He stood up and went to approach Nif. The man was around 6’2”, or 188 cm, tall. He had ruffled, long dark brown hair, that had some strange fade of blue to it with different light reflections. He had a small beard and mustache connected to his sideburns, which was also an abyssal blue color. His eyes were a medium blue with white slits for pupils. His skin was tanned white, with a reddish hue. On the side of his neck were a set of three gills - one on each side totaling six. His clothing was nothing more than an underwater camouflage themed robe over boxers - quite tacky, in all honesty.
The man extended his arm to Nif, as a handshake. His greeting? “h.”
“h,” responded Nif, knowing the meme greet, then shaking the man’s hand. “So,” Nif asked, “Who are you?”
“Nif tbh,” responded the man.
“Then you are-?” questioned Nif
“The alternate version of you? Well, not quite. You are me, and I am you. You could say were are BrOThas.”
“More like twins,” responded the original Nif.
“Not quite. I am a User, which I know you don’t know what they are, since I’m the one who made you. And the universe you’re from.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, Users are people who control this whole universe. To be entirely honest, I’m not sure if we’re higher beings who created this universe, self-inserted avatars in this reality, or if we’re supposed to be meta commentary on ourselves. I have a theory that there’s a higher reality than this, in which we’re nothing more than ramblings of other normal people. A living picture book so to say. I’m not sure though.”
Nif wasn’t very amazed, “If that’s true, why did you teleport me here? And can you prove it?”
User Nif smirked. “Yes, of course. Let me show you,” he snapped his fingers and the place flipped upside down and they floated around. “Laws of physics are meaningless here, because they’re only used when we feel like it.” User Nif pointed towards a hole in reality. “And these portals to anywhere else. Just look through it.” Nif looked through and saw the fight between Stardust and The Heckumvirate. He just nodded his head in response.
“I believe you Nif, but you didn’t answer my first question: Why did you want me here?”
“To have this conversation, Nif,” responded User Nif.
“So what you’re saying is this is just meta-commentary on the canon of this universe?” questioned Nif.
“Yes. Impressive. Nice, even. You are, after all, my own self-insert from another universe, before I really knew about Users, then I became a User, by writing myself in, as of now. Hopefully we’ll fix this in the reboot,” stated User Nif.
“The reboot?” responded Nif.
“Yeah, after the end of this, me and the other Users are going to fix this inconsistent garbage,” User Nif looked up to the ceiling, seeing the life passing by. “The best thing about this is my ability to create these really cool and unique scenarios. This palace didn’t exist 5 minutes ago, but I had to talk to you, so I rewrote and retconned the universe to say this palace existed. Alas, it will most likely be forgotten by everyone until some random character says something about it because the writers remember.”
Nif just seemed confused. He sighed and questions, “I know better than myself writing meta-commentary for something other than a laugh, this is obviously to move the plot forward. What do you want me to do?”
User Nif’s pupils and sharpened as he looked at Nif. “Why, end Mazkertis of course. I’m going to teleport you to a location with other useful individuals so you guys can take him down.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” responded Nif. “If Users can do anything to this universe and anyone in it, why don’t you they just erase Mazkertis?”
“Well, because it’s boring. As part of a group of people with unlimited power, we have to create our own challenges to entertain ourselves. If this is going to be BZPB
’s Crisis on Infinite Earths
, then we’re going to go all out,” User Nif stated in a monotone voice.
“Then,” asked Nif, “Why don’t you just send me directly to Mazkertis and let me kill him. He is human, is he not?”
“Well,” responded User Nif, “I don’t think that’d bode well for some of the other users. To teleport in and rupture him into an artistic project on biology isn’t entertaining to many, but it is to me and you.”
“So, you Users are purposely making things hard for the sake of entertainment?” inquired Nif.
“Of coursh,” responded User Nif. “The lives of gorillions in this universe mean nothing to me, because I can just retcon them into never dying if I want a happy ending. Personally I like happy endings, because I want-“
“World Peace and everyone happy?” Nif interrupted, “Yeah, same goals as me, to no surprise.”
“Well, of course, yet neither of us will experience that ourselves because we’re supposed to be
tragic and
interesting.”
“So, do you wish for my death, User Nif?”
“No, intact I’ll write you a happy ending and make one for myself in this universe. You know, a cover-up, for my depression and pseudo, self-diagnosed schizoid personality. You won’t remember this conversation after you leave this universe though, because then it would make your original universe interactions seem off,”
“And before you go on a long speech about it, let’s cut to the chase, because 1 noreaders care” responded Nif.
“Well, you’re going to recruit and organize the largest group of supporters against Mazkertis as you can. He’s created a formal allied group of individuals, the Kindred of Dawn. You’re going to kill them all, since that’s what you’re good at,” stated User Nif.
“How very nice of you,” sneered Nif. ‘When do I start?”
“Now, but first, I’ll give you something back that was hampered here,” User Nif snapped his fingers, then a multitude of light, refracted by water, covered Nif. In the prism water then stood an ebony-hued, even somewhat bluish, skinned human, clad in an aqua-colored dress, with long white-blue hair, styled after the ocean waves. She had blue lips and yellow eyes.
She then spoke in a deep voice for a woman, like an echo of the abyss. Very powerful voice, really. “Oh, Nif? I wondered what happened to my host after that battle. It was if I was put into stasis.”
“You basically were,” Nif said unenthusiastically.
Levi went up to hug Nif and smothering him, before User Nif interrupted, “Now, before you ask where you are, Nif will tell you. As for you Nif, with Leviathan here you should be able to use your Evolve power fully now, and scan any planet with water-based life to copy from, along with it’s history. Now, off you two go.”
“Huh?” questioned Levi.
Before another word was murmured, User Nif snapped his fingers, and the two disappeared into the same blue light that brought Nif there. User Nif then walked to the hot springs room, “…time for artificial gratification,” he thought to himself, as he entered the bath. And then he fugg'd six trillion cat girls or somethin :DDDDDDDDD Cool remember I don’t give a heck haha
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
[Kindred of Dawn Location]
Mazkertis stood in front of his team of scoundrels, dictators, and wanted criminals. He himself did not personally like the team, personality wise. Abilities on the other hand, were useful, as were some of the member’s connections. “But sometimes you must have momentary discomfort for the result,” he thought to himself. What he was truly disappointed in, was that one of the most important requested members, did not accept his invitation. He wanted to help him, so why wouldn’t he appear?
Of course, knowing him, this is nothing new. Most likely he is dealing with the political ramblings of his affiliated group to give Mazkertis more power, indirectly. Mazkertis looked on at his group, and smirked, knowing that his friend wouldn’t miss the world for a chance like this.
Goblin and Genetoes bickered, nothing new on their part. Raziel and Eclipse stayed silent, staring into the horizon of space as they looked out on their new locale. Behind Mazkertis, a black portal opened up, temporarily inverting the colors in the room as a black robed man emerged.
”You’re late, you know,” said Mazkertis, telepathically transmitting his speech to the figure.
“You should know how hard it is for our plans to get through without getting noticed,” replied the hooded figure, in raspy, deep voice, much like Boris Karloff.
”Yes, of course,” replied the time wizard.
“You shouldn’t worry, we have all the time in the universe, don’t we?”
Mazkertis would’ve laughed, if he had lungs, instead he only conveyed a smirk at his remark.
”Yes, we do, don’t, we, Lord Zrintch?” The hood of Zrintch fell over, revealing his neon green fur and scarlet eyes, with a smug smirk on his face. The rest of the Kindred were either surprised or confused. Ascheron was clearly angered; “Another fucking xeno? Do you have no morals, Mazkertis?!”
“As if you’re comment means anything, you childish dictator, with an ego larger than his own technology level,” Zrintch commented.
“If we weren’t allies, I would kill you right here and now, you red-eyed christmas tree!”
Zrintch pulled out a metal stick that then began to glow a deep, neon-red, “igniting,” in a way. “Then you can surely try,” replied Zrintch.
Mazkertis then stopped both of them in time. Telepathically, he communicated the following to everyone in the room:
”Enough! We are all here for our similar end goals, our temporary disputes should be null, for the greater goal! Ascheron, Zrintch is an old ally of mine, and you are just as valuable as him for our goals,” Mazkertis presumed time around the two, Zrintch sheathing his weapon, and Ascheron backing down.
“My apologies, Mazzy,” Zrintch then turned his back from Ascheron, smirked and walked away, with Ascheron making no comment.
Last edited by Klakeric Andre on Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:20 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : ok)