If Then

Then sh!t be f*&ked

If a virus gained sentience

Then you'd be rooming with Ynot.

If DRJ and Ynot shared an apartment

Then you'd all be watching us on TV because it'd be on a sitcom

If the sitcom did well

Then they'd have to expand the cast

If they did

Then all the other BZPBers would show up

If they did

Then it would be the craziest sitcom ever.

If one of the episodes was the event with JS

Then it woukd be a season finale.

If we got a multi season contract

Then we'd have to bring back JS and throw in Alex Le in the next season finale to top the last one

If Adrastos came back to the forum

Then the RPG wouldn't be on the lifeline between life and death.

If BZPB had more members

Then we would beg them to post and they wouldn't

If Boris Johnson became the British Prime Minister

Then marshmallows

If S'mores

Then I'd know what's going on

If Ynot knew who Boris Johnson is

Then chocolate parties

If chocolate rain

Then Tay Zonday would become Prime Minister, and he's not even British.

If Boris Johnson and David Cameron arm wrestled one another

Then the people of London would gather round chanting "Boris! Boris!"

If I became Mayor of London

Then London would become the first city with an openly Decepticon mayor.

If DRJ were an Autobot...

Then the world would fall in love with Sparkling Vampires again.

If we must take up arms to prevent this atrocity

Then I will lead this vampire purge.

If I became a sparkly vampire

Then I will end you before you are made to suffer, and give you a soldiers death

If I am the last man on this earth

Then you would be Will Smith.

If Ynot were Will Smith

Then West Philadelphia would be where I was born n raised. On the playground I spent most of my days

If a couple o guys are up to no good, and start making trouble in my neighborhood

Then you'd get into one little fight, and your mom would get scared, and would say "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."

If Ynot whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror....

Then he'd ask "Why are we here?" and the driver would answer "Because we're here."

If Ynot rolled the bones

(Google "Roll the Bones". Seriously.)

Then I am now part of a Canadian Rock Group

If it exists

Then Ynot is now awesome by virtue of being associated with Rush

If he really was a member

Then he'd be the guitarist.

If Ynot were a guitarist....

Then I would let there be rock

If there is rock

Then we shall roll

If we roll

We'd rock and roll around the clock.

If Roald Dahl were alive today

Then he could save the chocolate factory from the witches

If the witches escaped

Then you had best not startle them

If Jones startles a witch

Then I shall be turned into a mouse

If I am turned into a mouse

Then I shall set a trap

If Jones should fall for this trap

Then I shall die

If I died

Then we would search your corpse for loot

If Jones dropped good loot

Then you would sell it and become rich

If you became rich

I would strategically advertise the forum to obtain the traffic you Desired in life

If Hollywood had a shred of decency

Then they might make more good movies

If they made more good movies

Then cult hits would blossom

If Fringe got a good movie

Then I would definitely watch it

If I did

Then world would end just before the climax

If I were to see it before Jones

Then the end of the world would be moved so it would happen just before you could see the climax

If I saw it even earlier

Hen this will become a cycle of one upmanship that winds up causing thevend of the world are the beginning

If Ponies

Then Equestria.

If Celestia

Then Luna

If Cadence

Then Chrysalis.

If Ynot is a Changeling

Then I would replace Justin Beiber(tell me fan girls aren't completely in love with him)

If I am successful

Then I shall assassinate you instead of him

If I succeed

Then yo will have a horrible realization that you killed your friend who already killed Beiber

If I were to respawn as a Heartless

Then you would be released from your prison by Xonyt

If the Primes defeated you