If Then

Then I shall escape capture

If pink elephants

Then pigs will fly

If pigs fly

Then I will become Al Pacino.

If I became Al Pacino

Then I will become Jack Nicholson

If I become Jack Nicholson

Then I would become Christian Bale

If I was Bale

Then I shall transform into Heath Ledger

If we meet in our new forms

The it would be like an unstoppable force meeting an unmovable wall

If Bill Gate shad invested in Eastern Poland

Eastern Poland would secede and become a world power.

If DRJ decided to unify Poland

Then he would lack the motivation and funds.

If he was given these

Then I would become the supreme leader of a reunited Poland

If my first act was to exile all politicians

Then you would exile yourself, as even as supreme ruler, you are in a political position

If a sport that everyone would watch was invented

Then everyone would constantly watch it, ignoring all other aspects of life

If the sport was outlawed

Then the world would go into chaos.

If the world would finally realize that there was no use fussing over a sport like that

Then Order would befall the lands

If society went back to Sword and Dragon Times

Then I would become a knight.

If Ynot became a dragon

The I would clearly have to devour Klak

If Kon was the Princess in the Castle I gaurded

Then all heroes would attack a castle only to find Kon was in your castle

If they found the correct castle

Then they find the Castle guarded by Skelly Bones!

If Skelly does what Skelly does upon those poor unfortunate souls

Then no one shall rescue Kon

If someone managed to slay Skelly

Then this person would have to marry Kon.

If one of us somehow married Kon

Then that person would have Skelly Bones! blood on his hands

If the next poster could see into the future

Then I would see your death and laugh

If you heard me laughing

Then he would ask what was going on.

If DRJ told Ynot how he would die in the future

Then I would state, No S**t, everyone dies in the future.

If I killed future Jones in he Present

Then I would feel like someone had just walked over my grave

If Ynot walked over future me's grave

Then I would send a messenger to where ever you are, and notify that you die this day.

If Jones ignores this message

Then he somehow doesn't die.

If this made sense

Then we have solved the universe

If the universe was solved

Then someone would invest in Eastern Poland.

If Chuvash (it exists, look it up) became the official language of Eastern Poland

Then I would have to learn Chuvash if I ever wanted to go to Eastern Poland

If Eastern Poland became an independent state ruled by me

Then you would revert the National language to Polish


If Eastern Poland were to come under siege of New Sealand

Then Eastern Poland would strike back and conquer New Sealand.

If a resistance formed

Then they would usurp your occupation

If a non hostile alien specie contacted Earth

Then they would attempt to create diplomatic ties with us.

If these aliens suddenly discovered Team Fortress 2

Then they would most likely forget what they came here for and simply asimilate into the game

If we took the opportunity to reverse engineer their technology

Then we would be corrupted by the power

If that happened

Then each of us would imitate the members of our favorite class.

If I became Demoman

Then you would blow up the friendly aliens ships

If I was Scoot

Then you would run around bonking people on the head

If I were Sniper

Then you would never go hungry.

If I were Spy

Then there's spah here!

If Kon were Medic

Then he would Uber me

If Ferret were Pyro

Then huddah-mmph-mmph.

If we all were able to understand what Pyro was saying

Then we would be scared for life

If we could see what Pyro sees

Then we would again be scarred for life

If I were a rock star

Then for the third time, scarred for life

If Jones knew how to play

Then he would form his own band.

If DRJ formed a band

Then he would need at least 4 more members

If I were on Bass

Then we would need 3 more members

If Klak were on drums, Kon were on keyboards, Ferret were on vocals, and the band was called Bluefish Yon

Then we would become the new Beatles.

If Bluefish Yon became more popular than Led Zepplin